MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

Godly Wife: Do You Speak To Your Husband with Flattering Words?

March 20th, 2007 Visited 7359 times, 1 so far today
This entry is part 13 of 18 in the series Godly Wife

There is a passage of Scripture that should send a chill up every Godly Wife’s spine.  It’s found in Proverbs 7:

…That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.

For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, and beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:  And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:  Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)

So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I paid my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.  I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.  I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.  Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:  He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.

With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.  He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;  Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.

Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.  Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.  For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong [men] have been slain by her.  Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

It is not a question of if such a woman may cross paths with your husband, but what he will do to prevent it or run from it.

Two other passages in Proverbs hint at what this woman has that appeals to a man– Proverbs 2:16 and Proverbs 5:3.  Both of these passages talk about the flattery of the strange woman.  All of these passages also give warnings to the man– telling him to flee these women, that their end is death.  That the flattery is just for bitterness.

It is his responsibility to stay away from flattery, but Proverbs is telling us that a man is susceptible to flattery.  They want to hear that they are doing a good job.  They are encouraged and will do great feats if they are told that they are needed, that what they are doing means something.

As a primary job, I write software.  In college, we spent a lot of time writing test software that no one ever used.  When I worked over the summer for software companies I was writing software that only I could use.  When I got out into the working world and I was able to see software that I had a major contribution in for the first time it filled me joy and excitement and gave me a zeal for working– especially when people said it was a good piece of software, etc.

Godly Wife, you need to tap into this.  One way that you can help affair proof your marriage is to make sure that you’re telling and showing your husband that he’s a meaningful part of your life.  He needs to know that you can’t do it without him.  That you need him with you.  That you’re lost without him.

There is no excuse for adultery, but there’s also no excuse for building the biggest hedge you two can possibly build to keep it from even crossing one another’s mind.

Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife

Series Navigation<< Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?Godly Wife: Are You Helping Your Husband to Greater Heights? >>

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  • Jenna says on: March 20, 2007 at 2:55 pm

     

    Yup, if I don’t tell him and show him that I appreciate him- someone else will. I think that the same can be said about women too, though. I think that there are MANY women who are open to being seduced because they want simply to hear that they are a treasure that is valued. We have to be so careful to always reaffirm our love for one another, through words and actions. I think that your article about the value of the marriage bed works hand-in-hand with this one. 🙂

  • Sarah says on: March 20, 2007 at 4:11 pm

     

    Thank you for this reminder. I am not married but will soon be and this has been something that I believe God has been challenging me with.
    again Thank you

  • MInTheGap says on: March 20, 2007 at 4:12 pm

     

    It’s kind of amazing how we know that we have to invest time in our relationship with our spouse, but we also believe that we can squeak by without putting too much work into it. Even the little things that don’t take much time we sometimes skip. Over time, though, this can accumulate and you find yourself having to do a lot of work to get close again.

    Thanks for the woman’s perspective, Jenna.

  • MInTheGap says on: March 20, 2007 at 4:55 pm

     

    Sarah– I’m glad that we can be of help and encourage you!

    When is your wedding? 🙂

  • Deborah says on: March 20, 2007 at 9:24 pm

     

    I’ve really enjoyed this series, MIN…almost like a devotional. So many times after I read them I feel that I should just go to prayer and ask God to help me in this area of my life. We’ve been married 22 years and at times it’s really hard work. When that ‘first’ love is gone, you really need to be diligent in all the areas you have mentioned. It can be easy to just take the other person for granted and not remember their needs and desires.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

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