MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

On Coming Home….

October 5th, 2006 Visited 1781 times, 1 so far today

Fall Home

(This is a copy of the post at my site, www.meglogan.com)

As most of you know, I am a stay at home wife and mother. I thought I might tell you why, in case you ever wondered.

Biblical Reasons
First and foremost my reasons for coming home and staying there revolve around the Word of God. He has set a role for women to fill, a very special role that ONLY a woman can fill. We were created to be helpers to our husbands Gen 2:18. (mouse over to see verse). It is not good that he be alone, so God created us women especially for our men, to love them and nurture them, to care for their homes and their children as we are commanded in [breast] 2:5 . That we are to be obedient to our husbands Eph 5:22. This does not demean us, or take from us freedom, but rather opens true freedom to us, in that we are free to love as we are made to, and to find joy in being women of purpose.

It seems pretty clear to me that a woman who is seeking to serve her Master, the Lord Jesus, will find in her heart the desire to be at home. If that desire is not there “naturally” the good Lord is faithful to give to those who ask, just as He gave it to me. In order to be a good helper for our husbands, Titus 2 tells us that we must be keepers at home, and obedient to him. Now I have known some men who require their wives to work, I believe it is wrong, but it is not for the woman to rebel against her husband’s wishes. A faithful woman would submit to his desire that she work outside of the home until such time as the Lord changes her husband’s heart and he allows her to come home. Our first priority is serving the Lord, and our second is serving our husbands. After which comes children and home.

When we read the account of a godly woman in Proverbs 31 we see a woman who is hard at work maintaining and growing her family. She works hard, and strengthens her arms, she rises early and provides food and clothes for her family. She delegates to her servants and children, and she buys and sells under the authority of her husband. This does not sound like the menial, and often described “boring” work of being a mother and wife. It sounds like she was wise and discerning, and that she put her hands to work and made a profit. All of this work was done from her home base, with her children under her watchful eye. (They didn’t have a public school or daycare to send them off to in those days!) As I mentioned in my “Argument for Homeschooling” we are commanded to teach our own children at home, by the wayside, when we go out and when we come in, and on and on, precept upon precept Isa. 28:10 and Isa. 28:13 .

Economic Reasons

Contrary to popular belief, a one income home is completely possible in the America. In fact, a one income home run wisely provides more available money than a two income home. Just think about all the money we waste on business attire, makeup, and shoes to look the professional. Just think of all the money that goes down the drain to pay for that second car, and the daycare for your one to three kids, or more! To stop working outside of the home, you must be wise with money, not greedy and frugal, sure. But that is part of the joy of being home, in seeking the most economic and frugal ways to provide for the family you are using your brain in wonderful ways. Those who think that coming home means that your brain goes numb are foolish. They certainly may allow their minds to numb up if they don’t seek ways to use it, but let me tell you, there are myriad ways to put it to good use at home, including: frugality, planning lessons, creating a work at home job, managing time, managing kids (the more you have the harder you work and use that mind!), thinking up ways to serve your family and your community, volunteering.

You see there are plenty of things to think about at home, and you can even make more money staying home. Now for a link to a popular book “The Two Income Trap”, and a blog that interviewed the author. Let it be known that while I agree with the economic understanding of the two income trap, I do not support the book or the blog necessarily, as I am unfamiliar with both. But the book seems to make the reasonable point that two incomes are actually NOT better than one, which I agree with.

FUN Reasons

Let’s face it, going to work 9-5 is USUALLY very boring. It means waking up on someone else’s time schedule, coming in to work for someone else’s profit and taking vacation and time off only with someone else’s approval. Now if you work for yourself you might not have that problem, but I would think most people who work for themselves might be able to work from home. When you are home you are able to do all kinds of fun things, like go to the park with your kids! (Or in the case you don’t have two cars, you ca get together with another mom and her kids!) If you train your children rightly, they are truly fun and a blessing instead of obnoxious and annoying. You can take the kids to the zoo! You can ride bikes together, you can do art projects. Heck make a really difficult project for yourself to get that mind working! You can volunteer in any way that you find fun. You can read, you can watch the TV (though I don’t recommend it, it isn’t very good these days.) You can watch your child take her first step, or say his first word, or eat his first banana. You can play games with other moms or with your kids. You can take the kids to a movie. You can go to amusement parks (if that is your thing). There is all kinds of fun to be had. Just look around for it and get inventive.

Safe Reasons

When you stay home you can watch those kids, and keep them from some of the worse things of life. When you are around to watch them you significantly decrease the chances that they will be kidnapped, molested, raped, or killed in an accident. I’m certainly not saying that these things can’t happen under Mother’s watchful eye, sometimes it does. The case remains that the chances for such awful things to happen decreases.

Loving Reasons

When we care for our children, they feel loved rather than rejected. Even kids who have parents and lose one to death often interpret that as rejection. How much more so to know that your mother or father don’t care to keep company with you. When you stay home you can show your kids that you love them, not just tell them. You have time to go to ball games together, time to work next to each other, time to serve them, all these things show a kid that you love them. (Not to mention doing these things for your husband! but we will get to that.) Baking cookies together shows kids that you care, that you enjoy them, that they are worth knowing and spending time with. Kid’s don’t understand why their mommy has to work, money to the very young is inconsequential. The older kids may have come to realize that they will never have Mother at home, and have stopped wanting that, but now they want all manner of objects. A nice hip sweater or pair of jeans or hundred dollar sneakers. And why do they want those things? For two reasons, 1> they are trying to find ways that you show you love them, through what you buy them, 2> they choose what you buy based on what peers have. Ever notice how this is happening sooner and sooner these days? I think it might have to do with how early we force kids into an unnatural environment filled with their age peers, and only one or two adults.

Marital Reasons

When a woman is home she has time to think about pleasing her husband (as long as she doesn’t spend all her time thinking about pleasing herself or her kids.) To make a marriage work and keep it together a woman must dedicate herself to her husband. (And he ought to be dedicated to her too, but I’m not worried about making men do what they ought, I just tell women to do what they ought, and then watch how their men turn around and do what they should too!) When a woman can present herself to her husband in a way that he pleases, she ties him to herself, and no hoochie mama at the office is going to take him from her. When a woman goes out of the way to please her husband, and to love on him and respect him, he is tied to her. He is bolstered inside by her love and admiration of him, and it causes him to love her even more. Even the very selfish man will be tied more securely to the woman who dotes on him and who admires him. What? You don’t think there is anything admirable about your husband?? I bet that hoochie mama at the office might think his “weak will” is “gentleness” and his “refusal to speak” is “listening skills”. Think your husband is arrogant? or confident? Think he is a workaholic or ambitious?? It is all in how you look at it ladies. Train your mind to admire your husband just as he is, and to express that to him, and you will keep him from chasing after the ego pleaser hoochie mama at the office.

I think that this is plenty for now. Questions? Comments?? If you want to read more about this visit Ladies Against Feminism, a forum against the Feminist Movement and for the New Woman’s Movement.

Comments

11 Comments

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  • Mary says on: October 5, 2006 at 8:30 pm

     

    Good post. My dh was just telling me that a co-worker was venting to him the other day about how they pour at least a thousand a month into daycare for two children to be watched 10 hrs a day for 6 days a week. Yeah, 6 days a week. Ten hours a day. When do they see each other? That is so sad. I merely remarked that the wive’s income must be really good to make that kind of sacrifice. I’d so resent that money going to someone else to raise my children. So sad that they feel this is the only way they can afford to make it.

    Thanks for the link to the two income trap, I’m anticipating reading it!

  • ann_in_grace says on: October 6, 2006 at 2:40 am

     

    I wish, I wish…
    It is not possible in Sweden, though. If you do not work, you are ‘out of the system’. In a way, we have an orwellian society here already.
    But really, I think, it is a matter of personality. I understand what God teaches us, and I would love to be at home, but I also love my job. I always wanted to be a teacher, and in my mind (now that I am saved) I know I can make a difference for my students, in the country and in the school system that had rejected God.
    One income? Not possible. We lived like that BEFORE we became parents, and we hardly managed. this is the Swedish reality, regretfully.
    The best sollution would be to have an au pair, but I resent the very thought of sharing my home with a stranger.
    So, we stagger on, and try to do our best…

  • Mrs. Meg Logan says on: October 6, 2006 at 7:25 am

     

    Ann,
    It is so sad to hear of the plight of Sweden. When I was growing up we had an exchange student from there. Her name was Mia and she was very nice. I disagree with somethings you said: “But really, I think it is a matter of personality.” Very unlikely that this is true, since you even admit that “I understand what God teaches us…, but…” You cannot say in one breath that you both understand what the Word says, and disagree with it’s accuracy. It implies that the Word is not perfect. It is we who are not perfect. It is certainly true that women can enjoy work, but they can enjoy working AT HOME too… if they chose to.

    Regarding if one income (without God) is possible in Sweden, truly I don’t know. But I do know this, “With God ALL things are possible.” And regadng what you mean about an Orwellian society and being in the system (call me dense but) I have forgotten most of that book, so I don’t really understand what you mean. Seems to me that just being a Christian will put you outside of any system anyway. And you might as well get used to it.

    In any case, the arguement for coming home I presented really was written for Americans, but since it is Scripture I would be willing to bet that God would uphold any family ANYWHERE that chose to obey it. (If you weren’t saved and weren’t giving at LEAST 10% to God before you had kids, then you have no idea what He can do with what little you could make.) The other side of that coin is that one must decide which is more important, having a nice house and nice clothes and extras, and not obeyign the Word, or doing without most things and living even in poverty to obey His Word?

    Just some things to think about.

    May the Blessing of God be Upon You,
    Mrs Meg Logan

  • ann_in_grace says on: October 6, 2006 at 7:43 am

     

    Meg, you misunderstood me. I do not question God’s word. But my husband is NOT a believer and I honestly am not ready to leave my fate in his hands, in case something happens with the marriage. Just one thought…
    By system I mean the whole security system of Sweden. There is no such thing here as husband being financially responsible for his wife. Everybody is his/her own master in economy, and this is true about my future pension, etc.
    I would starve if I did not work.
    Believe me, when I say this. And then again: it takes two to tango, and I am alone with God in this marriage, so I have to take care of myself, because I do not know if he will be saved.
    I guess there is still a lot of pride in me, you know – all the education, degrees, hopes, plans. It was not easy to get this job, being an immigrant and already looked down on because of that.
    But this does not mean that I deny Bible.
    I I think you are a bit judgemental, but I might be wrong..,

    Anna

  • Mrs. Meg Logan says on: October 6, 2006 at 10:30 am

     

    I am a bit judgemental. I admit it. But I judge rightly based on the Word of God, and nothing more. And we can read that right judgement is appropriate in 1 Jhn 7:24 “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.”

    and here:Math 7:1-5, which discusses judging only in areas where you are not sinning.
    and in Acts 4:19 Paul commands people to judge “But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye.”

    I didn’t mean to sound condemning though, because you are free in Christ from condemnation. Your sins are already pardoned, and I do not condemn you either, my only desire is to see Christians grow up in the Lord. Myself included.

    Regarding your husband, I will keep him in prayer, (as I already mentioned to you). I agree that you have a heavy burden. But remember that your trust is not in your husband but is in the Lord.

    You seem to have a deep faith for one so young in the Lord, and I am sure that God will bless you.

    Peace be Upon You,
    Mrs Meg Logan

  • Shelli says on: October 6, 2006 at 12:00 pm

     

    very good post! And very true! I recently came back home and am struggling financially but God always provides just enough. Staying home is about trusting God and not your husband, I had kept working because I didn’t trust my husband or God to provide. When I finally admitted that was why I was keeping my job, I knew it was time to quit.

  • Mrs. Meg Logan says on: October 6, 2006 at 12:24 pm

     

    you go shelli! Trust is a real issue for me too sometimes! But the more I Trust Him the more I see awesome things happen!

    Mrs Meg Logan

  • DLOGAN says on: October 10, 2006 at 11:30 pm

     

    Nice post Meg ;-).

  • Mrs. Meg Logan says on: October 11, 2006 at 4:30 pm

     

    Thanks.

  • Anna S says on: July 1, 2007 at 2:00 pm

     

    Anna’s words touched my heart… I don’t know about the situation in Sweden. I know in Finland living on one income would be tough (yet possible), and I think the systems in the two countries are a lot alike. It’s possible if both husband and wife do everything for this goal. But if our husbands require us to work, we should obey, isn’t that so?

  • MInTheGap says on: July 2, 2007 at 9:57 am

     

    Anna, I think that you have a good point there– a lot of what can be accomplished in a marriage is only going to be accomplished by two people working together for that common goal. Whether it’s having the money for one person to stay home, raising children, or whatever– there really needs to be a common desire to work together toward that end.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

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