MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

The Proper Role of Intimacy – Delight in Your Own Spouse, Be Attractive To One Another

May 14th, 2018 Viewed 170 times, 4 so far today

Why is the Wife Compared to a Cistern or a Fountain? (Prov 5:18; Song 4:15)

In a land that had not a lot of water, she would be something of tremendous value.

What is the Significance of One’s Own Cistern?

How many people would love to have pure water that was not someone else’s? This is the value of the wife, as something that nourishes the husband. The point is that there is a source of “water” for the husband, and that is where he should be seeking it. If he is looking for it elsewhere, or his wife ends up offering it elsewhere, it’s a shame to him.

What are the fountains or rivers of water? (Prov 5:16-17)

These are the children which are brought forth from the act of marriage. These are legitimate children, whom the husband can know are his because he has been faithful.

What is the Significance of the Fountain being blessed and Joy from Wife of Your Youth? (Prov 5:18)

A woman that would have the children of her husband was blessed. We can see this in the stories of Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, Elkanah and Hannah. In each of these cases, the women felt that they were deficient because they did not bear offspring, and when they did then they felt worth.

The idea of “wife of his youth” has more than just “marry a young wife” embedded in it. It also refers to the fact that when you married you did marry young, and had a lifetime of intimacy together. This would mean that you’d have a tight bond—in contrast to the adulterous couple in other passages.

On Whom Should the Husband Fix His Affections and What Should Satisfy Him? (Prov. 5:19)

His affections should be affixed on his wife. The allusions would make more sense in the Eastern world at the time, but these were very high compliments. The idea is that his wife is the most attractive woman that he knows, and that he is not seeking out anyone else.

The problem here is that often in marriage, both men and women can let themselves go instead of continually seeking to be attractive to their spouse. They can use the excuse that they “have to love me anyway” to mean that they will not put any effort into their appearance. I don’t get that from this passage as much as I get that the husband should not be looking to be attracted elsewhere, for he should get all he needs sexually and visually from his wife.

This falls into the idea that the husband should be intoxicated with the love of his wife. He should have eyes only for her, and her love should be something that draws him to her. Attraction is powerful.

photo by: rightee

The Proverbs 31 Woman – King Lemuel’s Son’s Perfect Wife

April 30th, 2018 Viewed 144 times, 1 so far today

Who Determines that the Wife is Excellent? (Proverbs 31:10-12, 28-29)

The first thing that the King states is her worth, which is defined relationship to her husband (his heart trusts in her); therefore, I believe it is the husband that determines that his wife is excellent.

  • Does he trust in her?
  • Is she causing him gain?
  • Is she doing him good or harm?

While what follows are what she does, this passage is bookended by talking about how what she does affects him. This is the focus of this passage, as King Lemuel is attempting to teach his son what kind of woman to look for as he is considering a wife. It’s important that we get this context when we read through this passage, because the King is going to set forth a set of ideals for a woman (we know of no woman that he is talking about here directly). So the measuring stick in this passage for the Excellent Wife is what she does and who she is in relationship to her husband.

photo by: chiron3636

101 Ways to Show Love and Respect

March 12th, 2018 Viewed 280 times, 1 so far today

Whether you’re a husband, wife, or have someone you love, I’ve taken the time to show you that you can show those around you that you love and care for them.

To husbands, there’s 101 Ways to Show Love To Your Wife.

To wives, there’s 101 Ways to Show Respect To Your Husband.

To those in love, 101 Ways To Say “I Love You” Without Saying It.

These are hardly exhaustive lists, and taken by themselves could be seen as controversial when they’re not intended to be. Anyone in a relationship for a period of time can find themselves wanting ideas to keep their love alive or fresh, and sometimes we all need some encouragement.

photo by: be creator

Are You Doing Too Much or Too Little For Your Spouse?

November 19th, 2015 Viewed 1430 times

In How Doing Less For Your Wife Can Make Your Marriage Better, husbands are first encouraged to meet a “Biblical” standard of provision for one’s wife:

Gentlemen – we as husbands are required to provide food, clothing and shelter to our wives. We are required to give them regular sexual relations. We are required to spend time with them, talk to them, know their needs and concerns and give them proper honor as our wife. This is the Biblical definition of what it means for a man to unconditionally love his wife.

This is a tall order and each of us as men fail in this duty from time to time. I think as men often times we can be great at providing our wives with food, clothing, shelter and sex but we fail in the areas of honoring her and knowing her. We can become too wrapped up in our jobs and hobbies to the point where we never talk to our wives.

If you are failing to spend time with or talk to your wife then you are not a husband that needs to do less, but instead you need to do MORE.

From there the author goes into discussing when it’s appropriate to do less.  Do you think most husbands do more or less than they should?

If You Had to Provide a Sketch of Your Spouse to a Sketch Artist, Would They Get It Right?

July 23rd, 2015 Viewed 1323 times

 


Multiple couples sat down with a sketch artist and produced a video where the spouse describes the other one, and hilarity ensues— not sure whether to doubt sketch artists or the spouse?

Does Sex Need to Be Taught?

July 23rd, 2015 Viewed 1466 times, 1 so far today

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Are Wives to Blame if Husbands are Unfaithful?

July 23rd, 2015 Viewed 1383 times

 

In the wake of the hack on the adultery seeking website with a famous name, many are talking about cheating– the last taboo in a land that seeks all sorts of sexual deviancy proclaimed as acceptable.  And one adulteress tries to make the case that she actually has helped marriages!

It reminds me of many passages in the book of Proverbs that talk about how serious adultery is.  Nothing good comes from adultery, from being unfaithful, and from not following after the wife of your youth.

Surprise Your Spouse

June 8th, 2015 Viewed 1156 times

Kissing-the-Wife.jpgEngaged Marriage has a list of 12 Romantic Surprises to Make Your Spouse Smile.  The one that I found the most interesting was:

7. Play one of these games and don’t tell them the new rules until the game begins:  Clue, Scrabble, Putt-Putt

There are some really good ones there, so if you’re looking to put a little surprise in your relationship, head on over and check them out!

Father’s Day Around the Corner

May 27th, 2015 Viewed 1215 times

While many people collect postcards or other trinkets, I’ve been one to collect t-shirts.  Everywhere I went I picked one up, and it shows by my dresser drawers full of clothing.  It’s hard to part with them, even if someone gave them to me!

101 Ways To Show Love To Your Wife

April 10th, 2015 Viewed 1143 times, 1 so far today

It is harder, I believe, to pin down exactly what you can do to love a wife simply because love takes so many different forms and is very different per individual.  Respect is something that there is general agreement between men, with some minor discrepancies here and there, but showing love can certainly differ.  So, while I humbly submit this list, I do so with the disclaimer that “your mileage may vary,” meaning it will be different depending on the woman.  There are no guarantees and batteries are never included.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.