MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

5 Reasons Reality Dating Shows are Bad for the Institution of Marriage

June 17th, 2015 Viewed 1592 times

Wedding Photos by Katsu Nojiri

Reality shows are anything but reality, and while much can be said about how they are also engineered to get the most views for advertisers, the real danger is what they are doing to our culture as far as our sacred institutions.  The biggest impact is on the institution of marriage—for what better drama is there to see than that which is played out between dating, courtship and marriage.

1. They Trivialize Commitment

Whether it is the Bachelor, Bachelorette, Married at First Sight, or Joe Millionaire, they all have one foundational flaw—they trivialize marriage.  They do this by using a sacred bond as something to sell advertisements.  To do this, they have to provide something people want to see—and most people want to see things that go wrong.

Woman’s Bridal Dress Has a Story to Tell on Ebay

June 12th, 2015 Viewed 1133 times

The Front of the Dress By StarMama

From the land of interesting ebay listings that make you interested in buying comes the following:

REJECTED WEDDING DRESS SEEKS LASTING LOVE AND HOLY MATRIMONY – THE ADVERT IN FULL

I was supposed to be worn at City Hall in New York.

I was going to be the main attraction of a 60s wedding theme.

I was going to be low-key, but elegant (I still am, for that matter).

I was going to complement a 60s updo, nude courts and a bouquet of Lily of the Valley.

When my owner put on a dress just like me in Selfridges, she knew I was the one so she ordered me online and had me delivered to her husband-to-be in Brooklyn.

I’m not over the top, nor am I too dressed down, and she thought she could perhaps wear me to other occasions in the future.

She thought I was a dress she could look back on and smile, not cringe at fashion faux pas (she was right).

When I arrived, she kept me sealed in my box so nothing could ruin me.

Then they split up.

And she kept me in the box.

Because she couldn’t bear to look at me.

I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been.

So she wants to sell me.

Not necessarily to a bride, but to anyone looking to give me the home I deserve.

A home where I’ll get worn and admired and dry-cleaned (as and when necessary).

She can’t take me back to DVF because they no longer stock me.

I’m limited edition, if you like.

And the first time I have been taken out of my box is for these photos.

Because who’s going to buy a dress based on a picture of a box?

I can’t wait to be worn by you (and to see the back of my cardboard confines once and for all).

Love,

Zarita (in Ivory).

xx

Read more: ‘Rejected dress seeks love and holy matrimony’: Former bride-to-be sells £300 unworn wedding gown on eBay complete with description of ill-fated nuptials


Image The Front by StarMama – Not the dress for sale

Marriage is a Committment

July 1st, 2014 Viewed 1229 times

This is something one dad did for his daughter and soon to be son-in-law:

With Ashley’s wedding coming up, I wondered how we could incorporate the concept of covenant in the ceremony. Then I had an inspiration. We took Ashley and Michael’s wedding vows to a calligrapher who inscribed them on a sheet of pure cotton paper.

During their wedding ceremony, after stating their vows verbally, the couple turned and signed their marriage covenant. There was space at the bottom of the covenant for others to sign, and the pastor asked if anyone in the audience wanted to witness the marriage covenant. By doing so people would pledge to pray for Michael and Ashley and promise to hold them accountable for keeping their covenant. A line formed quickly.

Ashley and Michael’s covenant now hangs in their home, a constant reminder of their promise of fidelity to each other and of the promise of God to guard and sustain their marriage. It also reminds the rest of us to pray for them and hold them accountable to their vows.

Read the whole story at Family Life. Hat Tip: When Dennis Rainey got it right.

The Wedding and After

August 4th, 2008 Viewed 2989 times

pure kiss

Passion is at its most pure when it’s unleashed after remaining pure.  Your love, totally give to another, is one of the strongest bonds in the world.  That’s one of the reasons that your purity is so valuable, and something that should be taken care of so well.

Your purity is something that makes you uniquely you.  I know that’s redundant, but it’s on purpose.  No one else is like you and no one else can give what you can give.

Congratulations, Jenna and Henry

May 9th, 2008 Viewed 1710 times

2008_05_08t013000_450x354_us_bush_wedding Just wanted to make sure to send out my congratulations early, since Jenna Bush will be marrying Henry Hager at a ceremony in Crawford, TX tomorrow.

Although a nation based on celebrity would have loved a White House wedding, I can appreciate that they wanted to make it their ceremony instead of the nation’s ceremony– I believe it actually shows more character.  It’s nice to see how much she’s grown from the drunk teen the media were trying to stereotype her as.

Godly Husband: Are You Keeping Your Wedding Vows?

April 5th, 2007 Viewed 4499 times

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgI asked the wives this question, and now, I’m going to turn around and ask it to you…

For me, my wedding day was an interesting day.  I was staying with my groomsmen in a room in a hotel the night before.  They gave me the cot!  And that morning I forgot that I had all the toiletries in my get-a-way car.  I had to shave in the church’s bathroom sink!

Remember back to your day– the day that you stood in front of the whole congregation as your bride came down the aisle and everyone rose to their feet.  That day when something happened at the wedding you’ll never forget– and it wasn’t saying “I do” to your sweetheart but it could have been anything from the wedding party that wasn’t in the reception to the ring bearer who kept stepping on your shoe during the prayer because he had done that with your father the night before.

In any case, you said certain things before God and some gathered witnesses.  You may have said things like “love, honor, cherish” or “for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health” or things of that nature.  Do you realize the gravity of those vows before God?

Check out these verses on the topic:

When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.  Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. – Ecclesiastes 5:4-5

Remember Jephthah?  He made a vow before the Lord in Judges 11:29-40 where he pledged to give God as a burnt offering the first thing that came out of his door when he returned to his home.  That ended up being his little daughter– and regardless of how Jephthah fulfilled this vow (whether through killing the daughter or sending her away to the Lord’s service) he was bound to comply.

So with us, men, when we give our word it is our bond.  I know that I, as a man, am typically a whole lot more loyal than I should be.  We should make sure that our loyalty is to God and our wives, and that we are men of our words– loving, honoring and cherishing them.

Like a lot of the things in the Christian life, if we’re not going forward in Christ, then we are falling away from Him– so is this command to uphold your vows.  If you’ve been failing in this area (or if you fail) then you need to seek repentance and get it right with God and your wife.

Godly Wife: Are You Keeping Your Wedding Vows?

April 3rd, 2007 Viewed 8587 times

Ouch!  What a tough question!  What were your vows to your husband?

I can remember some time ago I was at a family gathering and we were watching the video tape of a wedding ceremony in front of a judge (justice of the peace) for a cousin of mine that had a baby out of wedlock.  It came time for the vows, and the husband-to-be (now ex) made a joke that the judge should make sure to have “obey” in the vows for her, not him.  I share this illustration to say that we as a society do not hold marriage vows like God does.

Remember back to your day– the day that you came down the aisle dressed in white.  That day when something happened at the wedding you’ll never forget– and it wasn’t saying “I do” to your sweetheart but it could have been anything from the wedding party that wasn’t in the reception to “Help Me” written on the soles of your shoes.

In any case, you said certain things before God and some gathered witnesses.  You may have said things like “love, honor, cherish” or “for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health” or things of that nature.  Do you realize the gravity of those vows before God?

Check out these verses on the topic:

When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.  Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. – Ecclesiastes 5:4-5

Numbers 30:2ff has even more to say, but I think that you get the point.  Your vow before God means something to God.  It means that if you are not fulfilling your vow, you are in sin.

Like a lot of the things in the Christian life, if we’re not going forward in Christ, then we are falling away from Him– so is this command to uphold your vows.  If you’ve been failing in this area (or if you fail) then you need to seek repentance and get it right with God and your husband.

Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife

Godly Wife: How do you Handle Disagreements?

January 2nd, 2007 Viewed 9461 times, 1 so far today

Over this past weekend I had the privilege of attending the retirement party for the pastor from the church in which I grew up. In fact, he came to that church the year after I was born and has pastored that church for thirty years– something that you definitely don’t see every day.

Of the many testimonies and many slides (only one of which was I in!) one of them left me with some weird thoughts and questions. The associate pastor, who also performed Virtuous Blonde and myself’s wedding, talked about how well they got along and also about how once the Senior Pastor had told him to “Shut Up.” He said that they had had their disagreements, but that they got along well, and that he’d miss the Senior Pastor.

That brings to my question for you today, wives. When you get into a disagreement with your husband, how do you handle yourselves?

First, how do you think upon your husband in your heart? Remember that we are to “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” I believe that it is easy for all of us to get into a defensive position when we are in an argument– I mean, we wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for the fact that we disagree on something. But do you have the heart of Sarah, who thought of Abraham as “my lord” or do you think of him as one your children?

You see, it is much more important how your heart is thinking about him than how you act toward him. On the outside you may be polite, or sound respectful, but if your inner self is belittling him, resenting him, or wishing that you were with anyone else but him, you’re obviously not pleasing God– let alone helping your marriage. Remember Christ’s admonition that out of our heart we are defiled so it is in our heart that we must be guarded against thinking about our spouse in ways that would not please God.

So, how should you approach disagreements? If you heart should be thinking respectfully of him, then you have to respect his thinking. In order to do this, you have to approach him in such away that allows for you to be wrong– I know, it’s not possible that you are wrong, but it there just might be something you’ve missed!

One way to do this is to make sure to attack a problem rather than a person. Put the problem up for debate, talk up his side of the argument, try to see his points, and point out the strengths and weaknesses of both sides. You’re a helper, a partner, a friend, a lover– and you can’t be any of these if he is the enemy.

You all know your husbands– and I know that I have a tendency to be arrogant. I guess I’m pleading with you that since we have these tendencies– you have to be the “bigger man!”

Lastly, just like all things, we need to be prepared for these things in advance. How can we prepare to have a good heart in disagreements? By building each other up. Godly wife, you need to be magnifying your husbands strengths and godly traits. You need to be giving him the benefit of the doubt, and you must make the “declaration of war” rare.

If you practice building him up, and working at a stronger relationship you will find that when you disagree the time will be a good example to your children and something that glorifies God.

Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.