MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

How to Seduce a Woman

February 22nd, 2008 Viewed 9779 times

girl relaxing on couch header

Today’s culture has told young women that in order to be truly liberated they must engage in all the activities in which men participate. They are encouraged to have casual sex, to enjoy their bodies and that they should disregard their emotions.

The problem is, they can’t. And the scarier reality is that there are books and tools out there that take advantage of the fact that deep down a woman’s opinion of herself is attached to what the men around her think of her. And that this self evaluation is tied into whom she allows in her bed.

Selling Sex Sells Our Girls Short

February 7th, 2008 Viewed 4779 times

new york love

Human beings are interesting creatures. From the smallest infant to the first created being we want what we shouldn’t have. We desire to know that which we would be better off not knowing, and we get the most pleasure out of doing that which we should not do.

This is at the root of the problems people have with obedience, it is the cause behind gossip, and it’s the reason why a glorious thing that was supposed be shared between two individuals in the privacy of the marriage bed is instead used to sell everything from underwear to shampoo to overstocked merchandise, and is treated by the coming generation as just another commodity.

The Gradual Increase of Lust

March 16th, 2007 Viewed 88308 times

A fourteen year old girl recently wrote to Dear Abby asking what she should do about a sixteen year old boy that wanted to date her, but her parents objected.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl, and for almost three months I have been e-mailing a 16-year-old boy I’ll call Derek. Derek tells me how much he likes me and how much he would love to date me. I feel the same way, but when I talked to my parents about it, they did not approve.

The reason is Derek’s sexual past. He was having sex in his last relationship, which lasted a little over a year. My parents are concerned that he will expect that from me.

I explained to Derek that if we were to date, I would not go that far. He respected that and promised that he would never force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. I explained this to my parents, but they still don’t trust him.

What can I do to show them I’m trustworthy enough to date an older guy and I can make good decisions for myself? – NOT A CHILD IN CASCADE, MONT.

Abby did a pretty good job stating that it wasn’t their daughter that they did not trust, but the sixteen year old. She also encouraged the girl to trust her parents, which would earn trust in return.

I think that both of them hit on an important phrase in this young girl’s statement– that Derek would not do anything that the girl was not comfortable with. This shows that the girl is not aware of the principal of the gradual increase of lust.

You see, whatever it is, be it money, sex or some other thing that we want, what we get is never enough. Just ask the millionaire if he has enough money. As the junkie on drugs if he has enough.

My father taught me this principle early on in the form of a progression. If you don’t want to end up doing something that you know to be wrong, don’t do the thing that leads to it. In the case of sex, if you don’t want to be comfortable with that advance, don’t get comfortable making physical contact, being alone with the person, and doing things that would lend themselves to give you opportunities to find yourself in a situation where you could make the wrong decision.

We must learn to see the warning signs on the roads before we choose to walk down them. We must decide ahead of time what we will do so that we’re not caught up in the heat of the moment. Decisions made in those kinds of circumstances are usually the wrong ones!

Godly Husband: How Are You Treating "Your" Body

March 15th, 2007 Viewed 5158 times

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgThere are two commands in the New Testament that are very similar.  One of them was the one that we covered with the wives is a previous post.  That one had to do with the fact that your body is not your own, and neither is hers. The Word of God asks Godly Wives to make sure that they are intimately available.

The other passage that I think is related, and of special importance for us men as we think about our spouse’s body being ours and vice versa, is the one that says that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves.

You see, no one has to be taught to love themselves– we do it automatically.  As is obvious with the current trend of justifying everything because it’s something we want to do, we know that people naturally seek their own best interest, and it’s tempting to do this in the area of marriage and sex as well.

Relating to Sex

You see, I don’t think that we men have the same dilemma when it comes to being intimate or seeking intimacy as the women do.  Certainly we do have the problem in the way we approach it, how much time it takes, and whether we’re all about a single act (pardon my bluntness) or include the whole emotional aspect of it.

What we need to realize is that if her body is ours, and we are to love our neighbor, that means that there are certain times that we are going to have to choose not to exercise our ownership for the good of your wife.  There are times where it’s not physically, emotionally or otherwise wise to engage in that kind of activity.  There are times where you are going to have to be more giving than receiving.

Men, we need to not use this passage to force our wives to do something that they don’t want to do, while at the same time realizing that we belong to them as well, and since they are our most treasured vessel we are to be taking great care with them.

Relating to Grooming

The other area that I think is important when thinking about your body being hers is that it is important that she be able to comment on how she would like you to look and you take her suggestions to heart and consider implementing them.

When you were dating, you’d do anything that your girl friend suggested.  Why is it when you get married (and your body is not your own anymore) that you now suddenly “have rights”?  I’m not saying that you should totally change your lifestyle, but I am saying that you should be open to her input, and aim to please her!

Seeking your wife’s happiness in your presentation is important– and I believe that you’ll see that she’ll try harder to please you in her appearance as well!

Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?

March 6th, 2007 Viewed 7288 times

This is not an easy topic.  I’m sure you’re squirming reading this probably as much as I am writing this!  However, Paul has something to say here, and there is an important message to be heard.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 spells our a husband’s and wife’s duty to one another physically stating:

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

There’s a lot here to soak in.

It’s the duty of the husband and wife to meet each other’s needs.

There is no room here for argument.  The husband first and then the wife are commanded to meet the physical needs of each other.  And this isn’t just the physical needs of food and clothing, but the most intimate of needs.  You came together in a vow to love, honor and cherish for the purpose of glorifying God and becoming one.  That was becoming one spiritually, emotionally and physically.  I think that it’s easy for us to focus on the first couple and miss the fact that they are a package together.  A marriage that is strong will have all three components.

The husband and the wife are not to be selfish with their bodies.

Unfortunately, we as humans are quick to learn how to push each other’s buttons to get what we want.  I see it in my two boys.  The oldest (up to this point) knew exactly what to say to get the toy he wanted from the youngest.  The youngest has since gotten smarter, though.

In marriage, sexual intimacy– because of how much pleasure and unity is derived from it– is occasionally used as a weapon to get the desires of one of the parties.  I’m sorry to say this, but let’s be blunt– it’s usually not the guys that are holding out on this one.

Do you see the point Paul is making in this passage?  Your body is not your own.  Now, I’m not saying that it’s fine for abuse to occur.  I’m not even saying that it should be there every time it is petitioned.  What I am saying is that since your body is not your own, you should be looking for ways to use that body to build up, encourage and yes, even provide pleasure to your spouse.

Abstinence in marriage is not to be something that lasts for long periods of time because it leads to temptation.

Paul says it plainly.  There is only one Biblical reason that two married people should not have consistent physical unity.  It’s for prayer and fasting for both, and the two are to come together quickly so that temptation is not allowed to take hold.

Godly Wife, are you helping your husband resist temptation by showing him that he can count on being able to delight in your love?  The attitude that you take toward being physically intimate with your spouse is going to color everything.  If it’s a hassle, he’s going to feel it.

Let’s be honest.  We live in a society out there that wants to tempt your husband in all sorts of ways.  Our sex saturated culture is selling him the idea that sex is simply for fun, that there are many willing women out there that will gladly show him a good time, and they show up in all sorts of places.

You want your man to be faithful.  You want him to love you and want to come home to you and be there to protect you.  I’m sorry to say it this bluntly, but what are you giving him to come home to?  Is the thought of being with you physically something he knows that you’ll both enjoy, or is it a chore?  If it’s the latter, well…  do something about it!

Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife

5 Reasons the Nice Girl Thinks She’s Ignored

February 17th, 2007 Viewed 3573 times, 1 so far today

It’s the question most asked after the guy doesn’t ask you out on the date or doesn’t call after the date. It’s especially asked when the guy tells you that he just wants to be friends. Willow expresses the opening of her frustration this way (warning use of the f word on the linked site):

Why is it that the nice girls are overlooked, those who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. Why is it that because we don’t give it up on the first date, we don’t want to play mind games, we provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story we’ve heard a thousand time, they cant see it?

Slavery in 2007

January 24th, 2007 Viewed 19825 times

Although slavery officially ended in America after the Civil War, it’s still existing in the USA.  True, there is sex slavery, human trafficking, and other things that are alive and well, but when you go to the Bible and the historical accounts you get a different picture of slavery and you’ll see what I mean.

First, slavery in the Bible did not bear the negative connotations it does today.

Exporting the Best of Our Culture

October 24th, 2006 Viewed 3947 times

Working on a foreign field can be stressful.  Add to that the fact that you’re fighting an enemy on their home turf, and that any moment can be your last and you can understand that there is going to be some degree of immoral behavior that happens– especially when your armed forces consists of volunteers of both sexes.

But 232 photos of service women nude and semi-nude posing with military rifles and American flag decals covering intimate areas?!

Now the news comes out that some service men posed for a calendar to help out wounded Iraqi veterans.

Follow Up: Debra LaFave – Media Darling

September 18th, 2006 Viewed 3230 times, 1 so far today

Debra LaFaveSo, if it wasn’t enough that this woman took advantage of an underage boy, got out of prison time because his mother didn’t want him to have to take the witness stand, and has been able to only serve house arrest and probation time, now she’s been given the media spotlight on multiple “news” networks in our nation.

Dateline NBC and the Today show interviewed this troubled woman, putting her face on screens nationwide for all to see, for what reason? She knows:

She told Lauer she never thought she was committing rape when she had sex with the teen but realizes now she “made a really, really, really bad choice.” She acknowledges that the case got so much attention – when similar cases get little or none – because she is attractive.

“Sex sells,” she said.

What We Do Is Not Private

November 8th, 2005 Viewed 1991 times

God sees all things, whether or not we think that anyone knows what we’re doing. I was reminded of this in a message I heard this past Wednesday regarding do we fear the Lord like we should. This week’s cheerleading scandal makes my point.

Panther Cheerleaders
These two women decided that they were going to try to do something private in the restroom of a bar. Unfortunately for them, it didn’t stay private. Bar patrons wanted to get into the restroom, and soon the police were informed. There was serious repercussions to to their actions. The funny thing is, it wasn’t enough to just say who they were, one of them lied about their identity.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.