MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

Thinking About Sex is the Same As Doing It

February 16th, 2010 Viewed 2989 times, 2 so far today

young couple kissing in the gras 7

The Pharisees believed that they had kept every letter of the law—and prided themselves on what was on the outside.  As Christ continues to underscore how important the heart is, He takes aim at sexual sin—and says that it isn’t enough to simply abstain from committing adultery, but that you have to keep it out of your mind as well.

Oh How It Builds

January 23rd, 2010 Viewed 1409 times

Light me On

What’s I find interesting is how much we are influenced by what we take in.  Whether it’s the the ideas that we expose ourselves to or the images that we allow in our heads, whatever we choose to feed our brain with, whatever possibilities we consider, we find that we are less open to the opposing ideas.

Hence why the battleground for morality is fought with children, and certain people believe that teaching Christianity to children is akin to child abuse.  It’s because they realize that if a pattern is taught early to look at things from a Biblical perspective, then the proverb rings true—when he is old he will not depart from it.

It’s the power of Deuteronomy 6—bringing up a child to think God’s thoughts—that seems to revolutionary, and so powerful, even for adults.  If we but practice thinking differently, if we but take steps to look away when we should, we’d find that we had power over sin through the Spirit through our desire to please Him.

The Gradual Increase of Lust

March 16th, 2007 Viewed 88282 times, 1 so far today

A fourteen year old girl recently wrote to Dear Abby asking what she should do about a sixteen year old boy that wanted to date her, but her parents objected.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl, and for almost three months I have been e-mailing a 16-year-old boy I’ll call Derek. Derek tells me how much he likes me and how much he would love to date me. I feel the same way, but when I talked to my parents about it, they did not approve.

The reason is Derek’s sexual past. He was having sex in his last relationship, which lasted a little over a year. My parents are concerned that he will expect that from me.

I explained to Derek that if we were to date, I would not go that far. He respected that and promised that he would never force me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with. I explained this to my parents, but they still don’t trust him.

What can I do to show them I’m trustworthy enough to date an older guy and I can make good decisions for myself? – NOT A CHILD IN CASCADE, MONT.

Abby did a pretty good job stating that it wasn’t their daughter that they did not trust, but the sixteen year old. She also encouraged the girl to trust her parents, which would earn trust in return.

I think that both of them hit on an important phrase in this young girl’s statement– that Derek would not do anything that the girl was not comfortable with. This shows that the girl is not aware of the principal of the gradual increase of lust.

You see, whatever it is, be it money, sex or some other thing that we want, what we get is never enough. Just ask the millionaire if he has enough money. As the junkie on drugs if he has enough.

My father taught me this principle early on in the form of a progression. If you don’t want to end up doing something that you know to be wrong, don’t do the thing that leads to it. In the case of sex, if you don’t want to be comfortable with that advance, don’t get comfortable making physical contact, being alone with the person, and doing things that would lend themselves to give you opportunities to find yourself in a situation where you could make the wrong decision.

We must learn to see the warning signs on the roads before we choose to walk down them. We must decide ahead of time what we will do so that we’re not caught up in the heat of the moment. Decisions made in those kinds of circumstances are usually the wrong ones!

Godly Husband: How is Your Thought Life?

March 8th, 2007 Viewed 3764 times, 1 so far today

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgThe danger of writing a post talking about how wives should be intimately available to their husbands is two fold:

  1. Men automatically think that this is a one way thing– their wives should be more intimate.
  2. Men somehow think it justifies those times where it’s difficult to control where their mind goes.

You see, we live in a society and culture today that is bombarding us with sexual images.  Part of the admonition to the wives as far as intimacy is to know the reality of the way that men are wired and to help keep us from temptation.  But this is not solely the wife’s job.

Men, it is important for us– yea, imperative– that we work hard at avoiding things that could even be near the line of those things that are unacceptable for us to be allowing into our mind.  The mixture of our chemistry and our mind can mean that we store and replay things that we shouldn’t– and that our wives would have no problem forgetting.

This means that we have to make a conscious effort to guard our minds and our eyes.  There are two methods to doing this:

  1. Prayer and thinking about what you are doing before doing it.  If you’re in prayer, you’re less likely to go somewhere even questionable.  If you’re thinking about what you are doing rather than responding to impulses or desires, you’ll stop before going to that place, clicking that link or watching that video.
  2. Consistently practice making your wife the center of your life.  Remember how there were no other women for you while you were dating?  You wouldn’t even dream of looking at another?  Why was that?  It was because you were putting all your energy into winning the one woman that you love.  Keep doing that.

You see, if you’re in prayer and your focused on what would please your Lord and your wife you will find that the desire to see how close you can get to the line will be less, because you have correctly focused your desire.

This doesn’t let either party off the hook as far as maintaining a correct physical relationship, but it does not say that it’s all the wife’s fault if you’re falling into temptation.

Godly Husband: Using Your Perspective

January 11th, 2007 Viewed 4252 times, 1 so far today

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgOne of the most difficult things for a lady to do is to be inside of a man’s mind– and saying this, I’m sure I’ll get the women out there to agree that they don’t really want to see everything there. In the case of how a woman’s form effects a man, I think that women know the extremes, but not necessarily where the line is. Sometimes what separates something acceptable for a Godly woman to wear can differ on how tight, how low, or how much skin is shown– and because there are no hard and fast rules, it’s up to you as the husband and father to pay attention to what the women in your house are wearing.

If you’re looking for specifics on what to wear, ladies, you’ve come to the wrong place. The best set of rules I came across for lady like apparel was at college, and a lot of those rules were more practical than Biblical. Dresses must touch the knee, must wear stockings at all times, no pants unless you’re doing some physical activity– that kind of thing. However, you have a great detector for what men think about in your home.

You see, men, she knows what she is trying to do with her clothing– and there is the first battle. If you have a young lady or wife that is trying to get sexual attention, that is one thing. That woman needs to be corrected and instructed in Biblical precepts. However, in this current culture and desire to at least look modern, some women can come across entirely different than they want to. But you know exactly what they have put on is saying.

There are three different challenges, men, in helping our wives and daughters determine the modesty of their clothing:

  1. Training them not to buy things that are immodest so you don’t have to deal with having something in your house and what to do with it.
  2. Catching something that, while modest, is worn in at an immodest or inappropriate time.
  3. Knowing when that article of clothing you like seeing your wife in is not appropriate for daily wear– is she going to be seen by children or others in a way that is “for your eyes only?”

Not easy things in the slightest– but we need to be engaged. The earlier the better. We need to be helping our wives be good role models of clothing to our daughters. We need to keep our daughters pure in their outward appearance. We need to help our sons to see what a godly woman looks like. Not an easy thing, but a necessary thing.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.