MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

Godly Husband: You Must Be a Protector

December 19th, 2006 Viewed 8128 times, 3 so far today

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgOne of the biggest needs your family– especially your wife– will need is that of a Protector.  As more emotional beings, our wives have the need to feel protected physically and emotionally.

You see, our wives trust us with a lot.  They have given their lives to helping us to raise a family, run a house, etc.  They are (more often than not) the ones that are around the house and have the young children.  Statistically, women are preyed upon more than men.  For all of these things, and others, women look to us to protect them.

This means, guys, that you should be providing things to make her feel protected– and guarding her privacy.  It starts with the ability to lock the bedroom door and extends to making sure you have a secure house, that you have a safe vehicle, and that she can trust your heart to be only hers.

We need to be active in showing our wives that we mean business when it comes to keeping the safe and protected.  She needs to feel safe in our arms and secure in the fact that we will protect her until our dying day.

Does your wife have this feeling of protection from you?  What ways do you think that a man can show his wife that he is protecting her?

Godly Husband: You Must be a Lover

December 16th, 2006 Viewed 7389 times, 4 so far today

This is actually more difficult than it sounds. When a guy thinks about love, I think that we generally center our thoughts around the feelings associated with love rather than what love truly is.

Ephesians 5:25 reads:

When Parties Disagree

December 10th, 2006 Viewed 1858 times

What do you do when two parties disagree– be it in the family, in the church, or at work?

I believe that there are really three solutions that are available to us. We can choose to break ties and leave the relationship, we can choose to submit to whomever is the decision maker, or we can choose to stay, but continue to complain about the decision.

But what does the Bible say about disagreements?

Godly Husband: Is She Your Helper or Your Slave?

December 7th, 2006 Viewed 4523 times, 1 so far today

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgGuys, let’s be honest.  We would be lost without our wives.  It’s not just the fact that she’s prettier than us, cooks better than us, cleans better than us, runs a house better than us.  It’s also that she’s more organized, remembers things, makes sure we match, and kisses like you would never get out of the bathroom mirror!

Both of you have a purpose in working together– and God created the woman to help the man.  That doesn’t let us out of a lot of responsibility.

Godly Husband: Are You a Leader?

November 27th, 2006 Viewed 5969 times

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgMen, are you the spiritual leader in your home?  I can hear the excuses now:

  • But she knows more scripture than I do!
  • Women are better at praying than men are.
  • I take the family to church, don’t I?
  • Did you say supper was on the table?

Godly Husband: You Must Be Born Again

November 20th, 2006 Viewed 4778 times, 1 so far today

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgMen, the first step in having a strong and healthy marriage is to first make sure that you have been saved from your sins and that you are following Christ.

There are many things that will come up in your marriage: finances, children, decisions, etc.  You and your wife will have differences of opinion on these things, but if you have the same Lord and Savior, you will be able to rally around and look to Jesus for the answers to the tough ones.

To Love His Wife

October 9th, 2006 Viewed 4241 times, 1 so far today

How much do you love your wife?

Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them.- Colossians 3:19

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband. – Ephesians 5:33

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; – Ephesians 5:25

I put these verses in the order I did for a reason.  Looking at the first one, this would probably be the easiest command to follow– not to be bitter with our wives.  This is probably something that a lot of husbands struggle with, though.  It’s easy, in close quarters, to allow something to fester– something that’s probably trivial.  If we’re not practicing Biblical forgiveness and we’re keeping a record of wrongs, we can easily become bitter.  This is at the root, I believe, with the upsurge of divorces we are seeing among those that call themselves Christians.

But Paul doesn’t leave it there, he takes it up a notch.  We are to love our wives as ourselves.  Few of us would not care what we looked like or want to look like a snob while we’re out and about, and yet do we take the time to make sure that our wives look as radiant as they can?  Do we provide for that?  Do we take the time to see that they are properly nourished physically, emotionally and spiritually?  Do we allow for the outlets that we have and enjoy?

In a home where the man works and the woman is with the children, the man gets a chance for adult conversation.  He has the ability to get out of the house.  Do we provide that for our wives, or expect them to be content with the same thing every day?  Would we be content with that?

If Paul left it there, it would be a tall order, but he takes it further.  We are not only to love our wives as ourselves, but we are to love her as Christ loved the church.  He died a cruel death for the church.  What we we do out of love for our wives?  I can hear it now: “I get her flowers every once in a while.”

If we’re honest, I don’t think that we show our love or allow ourselves to love our wives in the kind of love that’s self sacrificing to the point of preferring someone over ourselves.  Certainly we have times where we do this, and I believe that we would all rather take a bullet from a robber than have the wife or kids take it, but what do our every day actions say about how we feel about them– for what we think and do determine how we feel about someone.

Men, we need to realize that we have a responsibility to love our wives self-sacrificially and that means putting her first, looking out for her best interest.  This is above the children, above our parents, and above ourselves.  If we would do this, I believe we would have a stronger relationship and a stronger family for God.

To Meet the Wife’s Needs/Wants

October 5th, 2006 Viewed 13448 times, 3 so far today

One of the most radical statements (in terms of what people believe the Bible says in regards to husbands and wives) that I think I could make about the responsibility of the father in the home is that he is supposed to be meeting the wife’s needs.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:13

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. – 1 Corinthians 14:35

Physically, we are to be meeting her needs on every level. She has submitted to us in the leadership in the home, and she is trusting us to provide for her. This means that we must be willing to sacrifice our desires and wants at times so that she may have hers. That means that we need to seek her pleasure and happiness above our own. That is what she’s required to seek as well.

The passage that the first verse is taken from continues on to say that the wife’s body is not her own, neither the husband’s body his own. Guys, let’s be frank. I think far too often we like to use this verse to say that we deserve sex whenever the mood hits us (which is probably more often than it hits her!), but we fail to see the point of our bodies not being our own. Sure, we’re supposed to be physically intimate, but this passage could also be read to mean that we should be taking care of ourselves in a way that pleases her.

This could easily be taken to mean that we should make sure that we’re awake and willing to converse with her. This could mean that we should seek to dress, smell, and look a way that pleases her. It is, after all, what we use this passage to ask of her, right? I mean, we like to pick out flirty things for her to wear to please us (which she probably does) and yet do we do and wear things to please her? Our body is not our own, remember?

And then there’s the responsibility to meet our wife’s spiritual needs. If she’s supposed to come to us with questions that she’s not supposed to ask in church, we should certainly be in the Word so that we can have an answer! Not only that, but we, as the husband-leaders, should be looking at our family’s life and seeking to improve our spiritual walks. We should be leading the family in devotions. We should be looking for ways to apply scripture to our everyday conduct. We should be sharing with her the things that we learn from the Bible or questions that have come up.

I fear that we’re so concerned with ourselves and our rights in this area, men, that we are missing the blessing of being able to serve and love the wife God gave us. Oh, and if you think she loves, cares and does a lot for you now– how could she respond if you took your meeting of her needs/wants up a notch?

The Husband’s Love for the Wife

May 3rd, 2005 Viewed 2396 times

Happy CoupleAnother aspect to this discussion has to be the care for which the man had for his woman in the Old Testament. This is seen in a variety of locations.

In the story of Ruth and Boaz, Boaz takes up the cause of Naomi not having kin and Ruth’s husband’s death by being her kinsman redeemer. Jacob was willing to work for Laban for 14 years to get Rachel, his daughter. Proverbs put a high value on a good wife. The whole Song of Solomon places the physical and intimate parts of a married couple, putting emphasis on the love between the couple.

True Leadership

May 13th, 2004 Viewed 1544 times, 1 so far today

I have been reading through “The Complete Husband” as part of trying to strengthen my marriage.  Near the end of the book, the author speaks about being a Spiritual leader in the home.  What’s striking is how different it is from leaders that are in our daily lives.

Christ’s command is that leaders be servants.  His example was washing the disciple’s feet before the last supper.  He made statements like he who is first shall be last and vice versa. From President down to husband, Christ’s directive was that leaders should be servants first and foremost.

This would rectify power corrupting of a leader were a servant, more than playing the servant.  A Presidential candidate plays the servant when he kisses babies, shakes hands, and goes on listening tours, but then after elected does whatever he wants.  That’s why there’s so much contempt for government.  In every case where it seems a given person plays the hypocrite with people, there is distrust and hurt.

The leader whose true motives are the people that he leads will, first and foremost, be their servant.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.