MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

The Proper Role of Intimacy – Delight in Your Own Spouse, Be Attractive To One Another

May 14th, 2018 Viewed 296 times, 1 so far today

Why is the Wife Compared to a Cistern or a Fountain? (Prov 5:18; Song 4:15)

In a land that had not a lot of water, she would be something of tremendous value.

What is the Significance of One’s Own Cistern?

How many people would love to have pure water that was not someone else’s? This is the value of the wife, as something that nourishes the husband. The point is that there is a source of “water” for the husband, and that is where he should be seeking it. If he is looking for it elsewhere, or his wife ends up offering it elsewhere, it’s a shame to him.

What are the fountains or rivers of water? (Prov 5:16-17)

These are the children which are brought forth from the act of marriage. These are legitimate children, whom the husband can know are his because he has been faithful.

What is the Significance of the Fountain being blessed and Joy from Wife of Your Youth? (Prov 5:18)

A woman that would have the children of her husband was blessed. We can see this in the stories of Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, Elkanah and Hannah. In each of these cases, the women felt that they were deficient because they did not bear offspring, and when they did then they felt worth.

The idea of “wife of his youth” has more than just “marry a young wife” embedded in it. It also refers to the fact that when you married you did marry young, and had a lifetime of intimacy together. This would mean that you’d have a tight bond—in contrast to the adulterous couple in other passages.

On Whom Should the Husband Fix His Affections and What Should Satisfy Him? (Prov. 5:19)

His affections should be affixed on his wife. The allusions would make more sense in the Eastern world at the time, but these were very high compliments. The idea is that his wife is the most attractive woman that he knows, and that he is not seeking out anyone else.

The problem here is that often in marriage, both men and women can let themselves go instead of continually seeking to be attractive to their spouse. They can use the excuse that they “have to love me anyway” to mean that they will not put any effort into their appearance. I don’t get that from this passage as much as I get that the husband should not be looking to be attracted elsewhere, for he should get all he needs sexually and visually from his wife.

This falls into the idea that the husband should be intoxicated with the love of his wife. He should have eyes only for her, and her love should be something that draws him to her. Attraction is powerful.

photo by: rightee

The Husbands of Proverbs – The Adulterer, The Pledger, The Sloth and The Mischievious

May 7th, 2018 Viewed 313 times, 3 so far today

Adultery Takes Two: Just as the Woman Sought to Entangle, the Man Was a Willing Participant (Proverbs 2:16-19; 5:3-14; 6:20-35; 7:1-27; 23:27-28; 30:20)

There are two key questions here. The first is “Where do you draw the line?” If there is no line drawn and nothing keeping one from going further, then you will be easily tempted when you are offered the temptation. This goes for any sin, and men are especially susceptible to the willing woman as Proverbs says.

The second is the question of risk. The man obviously allowed himself to be separated alone with the woman that was seeking him. She saw him and identified him as an available target. This also goes for both sexes—do we take precautions to keep us away from sin?

photo by: meemal

The Proverbs 31 Woman – King Lemuel’s Son’s Perfect Wife

April 30th, 2018 Viewed 289 times, 2 so far today

Who Determines that the Wife is Excellent? (Proverbs 31:10-12, 28-29)

The first thing that the King states is her worth, which is defined relationship to her husband (his heart trusts in her); therefore, I believe it is the husband that determines that his wife is excellent.

  • Does he trust in her?
  • Is she causing him gain?
  • Is she doing him good or harm?

While what follows are what she does, this passage is bookended by talking about how what she does affects him. This is the focus of this passage, as King Lemuel is attempting to teach his son what kind of woman to look for as he is considering a wife. It’s important that we get this context when we read through this passage, because the King is going to set forth a set of ideals for a woman (we know of no woman that he is talking about here directly). So the measuring stick in this passage for the Excellent Wife is what she does and who she is in relationship to her husband.

photo by: chiron3636

Education and Authority – Marriage from the Israelite Law – Part 2

March 26th, 2018 Viewed 456 times, 1 so far today

Why is wife listed among the possessions not to covet?

“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.” – Exodus 20:17

The term husband actually carries multiple meanings in the Hebrew and Greek.  According to Strongs, the word “husband” has the following possible definitions:

husband, Lord, lord, lord’s, lords, master, master’s, masters, owner.

We covered this with Abraham and Sarah.  She belongs to him because she is one flesh with him. In the last post, marriage was shown to be, in Bible times, partly a financial transaction. The husband paid the bride price to wife’s family in exchange for her. This means that he had paid a financial price and had a financial obligation to her, but it would be wrong to infer that this is an indication of status as an object. While she is listed with the possessions, you can also interpret this to mean “you shouldn’t covet anything that is your neighbor’s,” just like when you are introduced you say “this is my husband” or “this is my wife.” While she may be in an inferior or subordinate position, she is not a possession.

You could easily reword this into the positive by saying, be content or grateful with what you have instead of wanting what someone else has or the common phrase, “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” which implies the same.

photo by: chiron3636

101 Ways to Show Love and Respect

March 12th, 2018 Viewed 410 times

Whether you’re a husband, wife, or have someone you love, I’ve taken the time to show you that you can show those around you that you love and care for them.

To husbands, there’s 101 Ways to Show Love To Your Wife.

To wives, there’s 101 Ways to Show Respect To Your Husband.

To those in love, 101 Ways To Say “I Love You” Without Saying It.

These are hardly exhaustive lists, and taken by themselves could be seen as controversial when they’re not intended to be. Anyone in a relationship for a period of time can find themselves wanting ideas to keep their love alive or fresh, and sometimes we all need some encouragement.

photo by: be creator

101 Ways to Show Respect To Your Husband

March 9th, 2018 Viewed 895 times

With His Job

It’s important to realize here that what a man does is a part of who he is.  This is part of the reason that the first thing one man will probably ask the other is “what do you do?”  I think that a lot of wives lose out on connections that they can make with their husbands because they want to separate him from his work– and yet that work is what he does for most of his day.

  1. Let him know how much you appreciate the work that he does.
  2. Get to know the names of people that he works with and their positions.
  3. Find out if it would be appropriate to invite a coworker over.
  4. If his company has a get together, don’t try to get out of it.
  5. Learn something about his profession– so that you’re at least conversant.
  6. Just like you’d like him to ask you about your day, ask him about his.
  7. Find out what he wants to do with his life.
  8. Encourage him to press on from where he is in job growth.
  9. Go on a work related trip with him.
  10. Prepare a snack just for him and his coworkers (the people in his office will look up to him!)
  11. Budget/Plan for lunches with coworkers– understand the need to network.
  12. Send him thoughtful or playful texts while he’s at work.
  13. Include a note of praise in his lunch (if he brings one).
  14. See him off in the morning.
  15. Welcome him home from the day.

Are You Doing Too Much or Too Little For Your Spouse?

November 19th, 2015 Viewed 1532 times

In How Doing Less For Your Wife Can Make Your Marriage Better, husbands are first encouraged to meet a “Biblical” standard of provision for one’s wife:

Gentlemen – we as husbands are required to provide food, clothing and shelter to our wives. We are required to give them regular sexual relations. We are required to spend time with them, talk to them, know their needs and concerns and give them proper honor as our wife. This is the Biblical definition of what it means for a man to unconditionally love his wife.

This is a tall order and each of us as men fail in this duty from time to time. I think as men often times we can be great at providing our wives with food, clothing, shelter and sex but we fail in the areas of honoring her and knowing her. We can become too wrapped up in our jobs and hobbies to the point where we never talk to our wives.

If you are failing to spend time with or talk to your wife then you are not a husband that needs to do less, but instead you need to do MORE.

From there the author goes into discussing when it’s appropriate to do less.  Do you think most husbands do more or less than they should?

If You Had to Provide a Sketch of Your Spouse to a Sketch Artist, Would They Get It Right?

July 23rd, 2015 Viewed 1397 times, 1 so far today

 


Multiple couples sat down with a sketch artist and produced a video where the spouse describes the other one, and hilarity ensues— not sure whether to doubt sketch artists or the spouse?

Does Sex Need to Be Taught?

July 23rd, 2015 Viewed 1597 times

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Are Wives to Blame if Husbands are Unfaithful?

July 23rd, 2015 Viewed 1501 times

 

In the wake of the hack on the adultery seeking website with a famous name, many are talking about cheating– the last taboo in a land that seeks all sorts of sexual deviancy proclaimed as acceptable.  And one adulteress tries to make the case that she actually has helped marriages!

It reminds me of many passages in the book of Proverbs that talk about how serious adultery is.  Nothing good comes from adultery, from being unfaithful, and from not following after the wife of your youth.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.