Lastly, we need to make sure that there’s nothing between us and our wives.  We need to make sure that the air is clear—and that the Sun does not set on our wrath.

5. Learn to keep short accounts.

What is meant by this is that we should make sure that we have done nothing to harm our relationship with our spouse or our children.

We may not beat our wives or children physically, but do we do it verbally, emotionally or spiritually?

When our children look at us, do they see love, or someone that hurts them?  When we do wrong, do we act as though nothing has happened, or do we make it right?

Not that it’s not already clear, God makes it plain that if we do not treat our wives with love and respect, our prayers will be hindered.  It’s important, men, that we deal with her as the weaker vessel—the prized possession.

It’s also important that we lead her and our family to grow spiritually.  We do this with teaching in the home, and by being a good example.

How are you doing, Godly Husband, Father?  Are you a good example?  Are you someone that you’d want your daughters to marry and someone that you want your sons emulating?

If not, it’s never too late to start being the man that you should be.

Hopefully you’re a parent that’s praying for your child every day.  Why?  Because there are many things that happen in a child’s life daily, and they need prayer. 

But more importantly, we need to

4. Set a day aside to pray for your kids.

This prayer should accomplish many things.  The first is that it should be a prayer that they will come to the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

That is the single most important thing we can pray for, followed up by asking God to draw our children to Him.  We will not always be there—as much as we would like to think that we can.  Our children will grow up and leave (Lord willing).  It is our job to prepare them the best that we can for the world that they will find themselves in.

It is also important that we pray for the big decisions in their life yet to come.  I don’t think we’ll ever get to the point where we think, “Man, I prayed way too much for that wife for my son.  I think I could have done with a little less prayer!”

Pray for their studies, for whether they go to college and which one, for their future mate, for their desire for God, and for what God has planned for them.

Doing this will both help them and strengthen your faith in God.

Children seem like they interfere with a marriage—in many ways.  They end up being the focal point of many of our conversation.  They take time to plan for and to correct.  They consume our lives with their love. 

That’s why it’s important to…

3. Remember: The House Will Be Empty Someday

The question is, will you know the person that you’re now living with?

It was easy when it was just the two of you and you were dating.  There were tons of things to learn about each other, you loved spending time just being with one another, and you could do just about anything you wanted at any time.

Now, there are little one—or even teenagers—running around and your life is fuller than it has ever been before.  You are having fun playing with your kids, teaching your kids, and the conversation with them is just now beginning to grow.

But if you haven’t kept up your friendship with your spouse, you may wake up one day and wonder who the stranger is…

Develop a friendship relationship with your spouse.

This means that we need to be our spouse’s best friend—and this takes time.

• Talk with your spouse.  Find out what’s on their mind and don’t let it always be about the kids.
• Be a shelter and an anchor.  Life all around your spouse can be hectic and uncertain.  Make sure you’re the calm voice in the storm.
• Be an inspiration.
• Be a listening ear.

She was your wife before she was their mother, and she will be your wife after they’ve gone.  That’s why it’s important to not let them get between you and her.

So take her out on a date – without the kids, and make sure the rules state that you can’t spend all your time talking about them.  Build that relationship with her each day and you’re investment in her will be better than that 401k you’ve been saving.

As husbands and wives we must remember what brought us together, and what we bring to the table.  That’s why it’s important to remember that…

2. You and Your Wife are Incompatible.

By that I do not mean that you do not work well together.  What I mean is that the two of you are different—and not just in the obvious ways.

Each of you brings to your marriage different strengths and weaknesses, different likes and dislikes.  There are things that each of you will be good at, and there are things that you will be poor at.

The question is, how do you view these differences?  And there are two basic answers.

You can look at the differences as pain points.

What I mean is that you can look at the differences and your own pet peeves and let everything they say and do bother you.  You can let the little things overcome you and frustrate you to the point that you wonder why you even got married.  You can choose to let the differences separate you, or…

You can look at the differences as a source of strength.

Yes!  Besides being a never-ending source of interest, you can look at your differences as something that will add strength and spice to your life.  Strength in that two people with different strengths are stronger than one, and spice in that having someone with different tastes will make you try something you may not have tried before.

Instead of letting differences and incompatibilities in your life be a source of contention, we need to see those differences as a gift from God to make the two better equipped to handle life together.  Embrace them rather than turn from them.

Specifically, as fathers and husbands there are five key things that we can do to strengthen or divorce-proof our marriages.

1. Learn to be willing to go the distance in our marriage – An Everlasting Love.

As Christ loved the church, so we should love our wife.

This seems like an easy statement at first—until we start to unwrap it.  How did Christ love the church?  Well, the first way is that He loved it enough to die for it.

Wow, you say.  That’s pretty strong love.  Christ said, before He died, that no man has greater love than that of laying down his life for his friends—then he went and proved it.

Men, are we ready to die for our wife?  Would we willingly take her place if that is what she faced?  That is a very difficult, but very important question.  If we’re honest with ourselves, we realize just how tall an order this is.  When we place this measuring stick up against ourselves, we find that we fall far from that goal!

But it gets better.  Jesus loves us even when we wrong Him.  Remember Hosea and Gomer?  God told Hosea to go and buy back his wife when she left him and became a harlot.  God wanted to show His style of love to the world through Hosea.

Jesus not only died for us, but He did it when we were His enemies.  It wasn’t that He died for people showing Him their love—even His disciples turned their backs on Him as he was taken away by the leaders of the day.

Men, do you love your wife even when she nags you?  Do you love her when she hurts you?  Do you love her when it’s difficult—when it takes energy?

Father’s Day is a strange holiday.  I’m sorry, but I already have three of the best gifts that could ever be given to me, and that I need a gift—now Mother’s day I can understand. 

The work of a mom when it comes to life in the home and the time spent with the children she’s far more deserving.

However, if you’re going to get a dad a gift, here are some ideas that I think would make a lasting impression and that don’t cost much at all:

The Photo Collage

I have, in my office at work, a poster board of photos of me with two of my kids.  My wife hasn’t done one since we’ve had the third—and who could blame her!  But it is one of the things that draws attention to my family at work, and I like to turn around and see them there.

Let them Do Something They Like.

For me, there’s never enough time in the day to blog.  I’ve changed to morning hours so that I can write on a more steady basis.  So, getting more time at night or during the day would be neat.  If he’s not a blogger, not so much.  Perhaps he likes to fish, golf, or do something that he never has time for.  Here you go!

Do Something He Likes

This goes equally well for mom’s on Mother’s Day, but there are many times where he goes along with the crowd instead of the crowd going with him.  Maybe that means playing that game that you hate and he loves, or something else.  Whatever it is, find a way that you can give him the choice.

Go to Church Together

A father is the head of a home, and should be leading his family in the things of the Lord.  You all should be at church—no excuses.

The Little Things

Lastly, I’m sure there are a lot of little things that can be done on this day, maybe backrubs, or something else—just spend time together with him, because I’m sure he treasures you.

What?  Looking for things to buy him?  For that you should check out the Father’s Day Gift Guide.  There’s a lot of good ideas there.