Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

Godly Husband: How is Your Thought Life?

March 8th, 2007 Viewed 3785 times

olderhusbandandwifeheader.jpgThe danger of writing a post talking about how wives should be intimately available to their husbands is two fold:

  1. Men automatically think that this is a one way thing– their wives should be more intimate.
  2. Men somehow think it justifies those times where it’s difficult to control where their mind goes.

You see, we live in a society and culture today that is bombarding us with sexual images.  Part of the admonition to the wives as far as intimacy is to know the reality of the way that men are wired and to help keep us from temptation.  But this is not solely the wife’s job.

Men, it is important for us– yea, imperative– that we work hard at avoiding things that could even be near the line of those things that are unacceptable for us to be allowing into our mind.  The mixture of our chemistry and our mind can mean that we store and replay things that we shouldn’t– and that our wives would have no problem forgetting.

This means that we have to make a conscious effort to guard our minds and our eyes.  There are two methods to doing this:

  1. Prayer and thinking about what you are doing before doing it.  If you’re in prayer, you’re less likely to go somewhere even questionable.  If you’re thinking about what you are doing rather than responding to impulses or desires, you’ll stop before going to that place, clicking that link or watching that video.
  2. Consistently practice making your wife the center of your life.  Remember how there were no other women for you while you were dating?  You wouldn’t even dream of looking at another?  Why was that?  It was because you were putting all your energy into winning the one woman that you love.  Keep doing that.

You see, if you’re in prayer and your focused on what would please your Lord and your wife you will find that the desire to see how close you can get to the line will be less, because you have correctly focused your desire.

This doesn’t let either party off the hook as far as maintaining a correct physical relationship, but it does not say that it’s all the wife’s fault if you’re falling into temptation.

Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?

March 6th, 2007 Viewed 7286 times

This is not an easy topic.  I’m sure you’re squirming reading this probably as much as I am writing this!  However, Paul has something to say here, and there is an important message to be heard.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 spells our a husband’s and wife’s duty to one another physically stating:

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

There’s a lot here to soak in.

It’s the duty of the husband and wife to meet each other’s needs.

There is no room here for argument.  The husband first and then the wife are commanded to meet the physical needs of each other.  And this isn’t just the physical needs of food and clothing, but the most intimate of needs.  You came together in a vow to love, honor and cherish for the purpose of glorifying God and becoming one.  That was becoming one spiritually, emotionally and physically.  I think that it’s easy for us to focus on the first couple and miss the fact that they are a package together.  A marriage that is strong will have all three components.

The husband and the wife are not to be selfish with their bodies.

Unfortunately, we as humans are quick to learn how to push each other’s buttons to get what we want.  I see it in my two boys.  The oldest (up to this point) knew exactly what to say to get the toy he wanted from the youngest.  The youngest has since gotten smarter, though.

In marriage, sexual intimacy– because of how much pleasure and unity is derived from it– is occasionally used as a weapon to get the desires of one of the parties.  I’m sorry to say this, but let’s be blunt– it’s usually not the guys that are holding out on this one.

Do you see the point Paul is making in this passage?  Your body is not your own.  Now, I’m not saying that it’s fine for abuse to occur.  I’m not even saying that it should be there every time it is petitioned.  What I am saying is that since your body is not your own, you should be looking for ways to use that body to build up, encourage and yes, even provide pleasure to your spouse.

Abstinence in marriage is not to be something that lasts for long periods of time because it leads to temptation.

Paul says it plainly.  There is only one Biblical reason that two married people should not have consistent physical unity.  It’s for prayer and fasting for both, and the two are to come together quickly so that temptation is not allowed to take hold.

Godly Wife, are you helping your husband resist temptation by showing him that he can count on being able to delight in your love?  The attitude that you take toward being physically intimate with your spouse is going to color everything.  If it’s a hassle, he’s going to feel it.

Let’s be honest.  We live in a society out there that wants to tempt your husband in all sorts of ways.  Our sex saturated culture is selling him the idea that sex is simply for fun, that there are many willing women out there that will gladly show him a good time, and they show up in all sorts of places.

You want your man to be faithful.  You want him to love you and want to come home to you and be there to protect you.  I’m sorry to say it this bluntly, but what are you giving him to come home to?  Is the thought of being with you physically something he knows that you’ll both enjoy, or is it a chore?  If it’s the latter, well…  do something about it!

Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife

Godly Wife: Does Your Husband’s Heart Trust in You?

December 14th, 2006 Viewed 5497 times

One of the things that I think that couples learn from dating is that relationships are not etched in stone.  The teenage couple that seems like the ones to get married, have five kids and live happily ever after soon have problems where one or both parties decide to go elsewhere.

For me, I did not have many relationships– having my first one in my senior year, and only three others before my wife.  Only one of those got to the point where I was serious enough about the girl to start making the plans to marry her.

It was after this woman and her parents decided to put an end to the relationship that I realized that the most important thing I needed in a relationship was trust

Godly Wife: Who Are You Seeking to Please?

November 28th, 2006 Viewed 5359 times

Wives, let’s just say that your task is not easy.  In most cases, the man that you may have married may not have the spiritual desire that you have.  Or, you may have desires that you have received through your experience at home, at school, or at church that tell you to seek to be something that may go against the Word of God.

The question for you, wives, is what matters most to you as a wife?  Is it pleasing God, or pleasing yourself and hoping that God concurs?

The last time we looked at is your husband your master, and we’re asking the men to make sure they take their placement in the homes as the leaders of the home seriously.  They will be accountable to how they lead.


Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.