We need to make sure that our speech is that which will build up.  That’s exceedingly difficult in our current culture.  What we say we believe is no longer a personal belief about a action, but it’s a statement that directly applies to people, and people take personally.

I am against same-sex marriage.  I’m against homosexuality.

I say that freely, but I know that it’s no longer something that I can say and people differentiate it between the sin and the person committing the sin.

One of the tactics of the same-sex movement is to humanize and put face to homosexuals.  They put them in every television program, and portray them as normal people.  They then ask why we want to discriminate against these ordinary people.

They lump homosexuality in with skin color and other things over which people have no control, and paper over the fact that engaging in homosexual activity is a choice.  And they go further than wanting to practice deviant behavior—they want all of us to accept this behavior and give them acceptance.

And it’s difficult to be against this movement and yet for freedom.  It’s difficult to state that you’re against homosexuality and yet have acquaintances and friends that are practicing this.

And yet, just like any other sin, a Christian must take a stand.  Just like we have friends and family that are liars, cheats, and those that drive above the speed limit.   Just as we have friends and family that have divorced, had affairs or have engaged in premarital sex.  We don’t approve of these activities, and yet there they are, standing there wanting acceptance and love.

Christ demonstrated love to the sinner in that He reached out to them.  No one that He touched was left in their sin, He offered a way out.

And that’s what our speech must be.  It can’t always be about condemnations, it can’t be in painting these people in these sins as evil to say that we’re better.  It must be about looking past that to the person.

We must reach the person with the message of the Gospel.  We must pray that our words speak grace, comfort and the love of Christ, but that they do not back down concerning the blackness of sin.

It’s a tough line, and a line I’ve not always done the best I could to walk, but that person—whatever their sin—needs Jesus just as much as you and I.

So for those of us that take a stand on these issues—like Carrie Prejean and others—they must remember this, remember the faces, remember the souls in need.  We need to remember who we were and who we are.  Our frame is weak, and but for the grace of God we would be in the same place.

One doesn’t participate in the Miss USA pageant because they’re timid, modest and reserved.  They may get in it for the college money, for the recognition of their beauty, or because they have a competitive spirit.

The problem with seeking fame is that always comes with a cost.

In Galatians, the Bible talks about how leaders will be held to a higher standard, and we see how that plays out in the life of Carrie Prejean, for she ended up being a leader in a different way than she originally had planned.

A Leader in a Different Way

She started out believing that she’d possibly win the Miss USA pageant and then be a leader of sorts until the next one.  She’d do her appearances and work on whatever it was that she wanted to spearhead for the organization and that would have been it.

When the situation blew up the way that it did, she found herself in a position of leadership of a different sort—leading a moral group supporting marriage.

But had she disappeared after the comment to Perez Hilton, some of what had come out would not have happened.  You see, it’s about more than her faith, it’s about who she’s claiming she is.

Paris Hilton, whose morality was not billed as high as Carrie Prejean’s, had a sex tape come out as she was trying to become famous on television and run different lines of beauty supplies.

A leader, or someone looking to be a leader, needs to be aware that every time you get in front of another person, you might have a target on your back.

Seeking versus Given

If you push your way into a given position, if you step on people on the way up, you’re more likely to find that you offend people, and those people will look for anything they can do to weigh you down.

Also, any standard that you set for yourself, or perceive to set for yourself, will be exacted to you.  If you take the cloak of Christianity, you are expected to be sinless.

This is why sexual scandals in the GOP ranks in the government are reported differently than in the Democrat ranks.  The GOP’s link to family values makes them hypocritical when they stray.

They don’t see that people aren’t people.  They don’t understand the basic truth that all have sinned—and continue to sin.  They see hypocrites.  They cannot divorce the ideology and standard from the individual.

That is why it is so important that the lives that we live in the mundane are that which will be upstanding rather than something that could come back to haunt us.

It’s also why we shouldn’t necessarily seek leadership.  If we’re faithful, if we’re team people, if we seek the best for others first, we will be a natural leader.  Natural leaders people want to follow.  They feel they are accessible.  They want to follow them.

Leaders put into position do not have this endearment.  They get the authority, but lack the good will, and people want to take them down.

Don’t seek the spotlight.  Seek to make a difference in people’s lives, and let them decide whether they want to follow.

It was not easy to be a Christian after Christ left the Earth.  A quick read through Fox’s Book of Martyrs reveals that many of those in the early church met cruel fates.  They were beheaded, crucified, used as human torches and fed to lions for sport.  These people took a stand for Christ over the Emperor, they did not recant their faith under pressure, and they grew in number.

In America, we know nothing of the cost to our lives like they did in that time.  There are times where it approaches that kind of actions, but for the most part our society is tolerant of diverse opinions.

However, very important in our culture is reputation, who people think you are and how well known you are.  People spend a lot of time working and building their reputations and self-identity.  The sacrifice to be a Christian in the American culture is a sacrifice of that reputation—because it may be that people will look at you differently when they find out what you believe.

A Change In Course

Today, our culture is finishing up the remake that started in the 1960’s.  As society rebelled against the Christian culture of their upbringing—especially when it came to sexual constructs—the people desired to have Christianity replaced with secular humanism and used the school system to bring forth this change.  Prayer and Bible reading were removed from schools.  Things that were foundational to our understanding of law, justice, and our founding traditions were replaced with that which would focus on secular humanism.

Over time, those that would have a background in the faith would be replaced by those that paid heed to no particular faith, and this would be seen as “progress.”  Secular Humanism would be the new religion of America, and the Christian past would be tolerated for as long as necessary before it could be removed.

For that is what you are seeing attempted today.  The attempted passage of Same-Sex marriage laws, the debates over abortion, and the general question of whether people of faith have any degree of intelligence are all part of a singular movement—though probably not organized as such—of removing the Christian foundation.

That is why you have debates and arguments framed around libertarian principles now instead of Christian principles.  In the moral days of this country, there would be no question about whether homosexuals should marry.  Just asking the question would be ludicrous because of the Bible’s clear teaching.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it—there are those that believe it is clear, and then there are those that twist passages to support the change, and then there are those that do not care.  And those that do not care leverage those that try to bridge the gap against those that would take a stand.

Taking a Stand

It’s easy to try to get along with the flow.  Carrie Prejean could have tried to answer Perez Hilton in a way that would not have offended him.  Knowing his sexual preference, she could have tried to make it easier on herself—saying something about the people of a state choosing what they will or doing some sort of dodge.

And yet, this woman in this position chose to speak what she was truly thinking.  She couldn’t have planned this (unless she was told the question ahead of time, and it was an out of place type thing) and so one has to believe that she was giving an unscripted answer—not knowing the position that would be available to her after losing Miss USA and then Miss California.

For that she should be commended.  Not elevated, for she is just a sinner like the rest of us, but commended because it’s hard to take a stand, especially in a pressure situation like the one that she was in.

More of us should be willing to say what we believe on moral issues regardless of what we believe will be the outcome.  Not that we should force our view on others, or publicaly condemn others, but we need to be willing to at least give the answer to the question that is asked.

When confronted, there are two things to remember:

• Defensiveness will only get you so far.
• Defensiveness sets you up for an attack

Carrie Prejean’s reaction to the revelation that she had cosmetic surgery done was to get defensive.  She sated that she did not believe that it was against the Bible to have cosmetic surgery done.

This wasn’t really the issue.  Part of the issue was a look at her morality.  People want to know why someone that is now claiming biblical morality would be having elective surgery to increase her bust size.  They want to think through whether or not a Christian should be competing in a contest that values external appearance and emphasizes the womanly figure.  They want to know what’s on the inside.

When you get defensive, you don’t seem sure of yourself—you express doubt.

A Lesson from Romans

Romans 14 is the classic chapter on Christian Liberty.  In it, Paul defines both the stronger and the weaker brother, but one of the verses sticks out on this topic.  Paul exhorts everyone to be fully persuaded about what they are doing as far as whether it is glorifying God or not.

In context, Paul is talking about eating food that was offered to idols or respecting a certain day (like the Jewish holidays).  Paul said that Christians are at liberty to glorify God in any way that they feel persuaded pleases them and that the only thing they should be careful of is that they are fully persuaded that what they are doing is acceptable.

The brother that believes he has liberty to do something is not to act in such a way to offend the brother that believes that it is wrong.  In the same token, that brother that believes that something is wrong should not judge the one that partakes.

In this case, Carrie’s answer about her implants shows that she’s defensive.  Trying to prove from the Scripture your point of view only seeks to divide people and to cause offense.

A Better Response

A. W. Tozer, when talking about churches, advised the church to always listen to criticism and accept it.  If it is true, the church should adjust, and if not, just let it roll off.

For you and I, I would apply this like this: If someone has a problem with your action, which you believe to be supported by Scripture, you should thank the person for bringing it up, and say that you will read and pray on it.  After a time, you may want to get back with them and thank them for their concern and let them know that you’ve researched it and you believe that you’re either right or that you’re wrong and that you’ll change.  If they ask where you find it, then show them what you’ve found.

This avoids (to some extent) the “I’m right, you’re wrong” of reacting immediately, and it shows that you actually value the comment.

In the case of Miss Prejean, she could have said that she would read and pray about it, and then state that she was doing what she believed glorified God and it was between Him and her.  Or that she believe it was wrong and that she wouldn’t do it again.

Either way would have been better than attempting to state that her critics were most certainly wrong and acting as if she were better than the rest.

You don’t get to the point where you’re almost Miss USA by being ugly.  It’s not based on your character or how fun you are to be with that you find yourself named Miss California.

There’s only one reason that these types of competition feature swimsuits, formal wear and offer money for cosmetic surgery and that has nothing to do with what’s on the inside.

And what is on the inside is what is most important.

The Power of a Pretty Face

It’s true—from birth to old age, people react differently to a pretty face and figure.  That’s why a majority of the people that present or act on television are attractive people that take a lot of time working on their physical appearance.  People follow and like to look at pretty people.

When Carrie Prejean, the former Miss California, answered Perez Hilton’s question about same-sex marriage stating that she was raised to believe marriage was between a man and a woman she set herself up as someone that could be followed because the issue is in the forefront of a lot of conversation this nation is having right now.

When she lost the Miss USA pageant and her title of Miss California, she became an even more sympathetic figure.  People began to associate themselves with her, and because of her looks combined to her television appearances, she became someone that people would want to rally around.

But what a person looks like on the inside does not always equate to what a person looks like on the outside.

Work on the Inside

This is exactly what is written in the Gospels in the Bible when it comes to the idea of modesty.  Peter emphasizes that modesty is about more than simply wearing clothing that covers the skin.  Modesty is about letting the inner person show rather than the outer person.

In today’s society, it’s all about the outer person.  It’s the color of their skin, whether they’re male or female, and how fit they are.  We are obsessed with images, and we’re being conditioned to project values on people that they may not share.

Miss Prejean has shown, through some of the things that she has done, that she goes with the flow of what’s going on.  And to some degree, who can blame her?  I mean, for a Christian with morals, she could have said on the stage that day that God said that marriage was between a man and a woman, not her family.  She could have not enrolled in the pageant at all, and really made a difference serving people in her community.

Live as an Example

I’m sure that Miss Prejean did not plan on becoming a figure in the Defense of Marriage movement.  I’m sure that as she was making the videos for her boyfriend, and having the modeling photos taken she wasn’t thinking that someday she’s be held to the standard of purity and standing for marriage.  She may have figured that she could have won Miss USA, but that secular title would not demand of her the same as the one she tried to assume.

But that should be a reminder to you and I.  Live is lived in the mundane.  It’s faithfulness every day to do what we know that is right so that we will not disqualify ourselves for future service.

I’m sure Miss Prejean wishes that these things from the past were not there—for whatever the motive—but the question for us is: what are we doing today that we would not want out?  Is what people see on the outside only skin deep, or is their conviction behind it?

The reason that Carrie Prejean is in the news is not only for the fact that she is good looking and was Miss California—it’s that she was almost Miss USA (or at least that’s what many said) but for an answer she gave to Perez Hilton about same-sex marriage.

In her interview portion, Hilton asked Prejean what she thought about Proposition 8, the California proposition that would have legalized same-sex marriage, but was rejected by the voters of the state.  Prejean stated that she believed marriage was between a man and a woman.

That’s great—I mean, I agree.  It’s the traditional definition, and altering that definition does erode the meaning, even if it doesn’t directly effect my marriage or those around me.  The problem is, marriage is already pretty weak as it is.

Marriage Erosion

The definition of marriage is as old as time itself—or perhaps a few days younger.  When God created Eve and gave her to Adam, He declared that the two had become one.  It wasn’t until a couple generations later that this would receive its first test.  Lamech, believing he was better than anyone else at the time, took to himself two wives.  Polygamy was the first attack.

Marriage was further eroded by the process of taking a wife’s handmaid to have offspring, and adultery, prostitution and concubines were all things that took place a long time ago.  Today we can add Cohabitation and “same-sex marriage.”

See, marriage has been under attack from the outside—from people trying to alter the definition—for a long time.  However, marriage as a term has always meant the same thing—a joining of a man and a woman for life.

Marriage Already is A Weakened Institution

Marriage is and always has been under fire.  As a culture decays in morality, its institutions are polluted and decayed to the point that they lose their meaning—and this is what is happening in this country.  It’s not just “same-sex marriage” that’s the issue.  It’s cohabitation.  It’s “serial monogamy”—the culture of divorce and remarriage.

If you want to take a stand for marriage, you need to take a stand for marriage in its purity.  You need to tell those couples that are living together that they should not be “playing house.”  You need to tell that couple about to get divorced that they’re breaking a promise (and help them to resolve their issues).  You need to do more than make fancy statements about “same-sex marriage” because though I believe they’re wrong as well, there’s a lot more to this topic than whether two people that are already committing sin can commit sin with the state’s blessing.

So yes, take a stand for marriage, but don’t simply make it about homosexuality.  If you’re going to take a stand, make it for what marriage should be.

Carrie Prejean wasn’t the first person to make a recording she thought would remain private, only to find out that it did not.  Many people every day are making recordings, taking photographs and writing statements that they believe will only be read, seen and heard by the intended recipients.

Yet, the Internet has proven just how wrong this kind of thinking is.

Reply To All

One of the big things in our present age is the “Reply To All” problem—a nifty feature in most e-mail programs that allows you to broadcast your secrets en masse to everyone on the original e-mail.

I’ve hit “reply to all” before, and I’ve sent e-mails to wrong people.  This was a whole lot harder to do when everything was in type or written in letters.  But some have found that their personal relationships are on display to all because they hit the wrong reply.

Explicit Photographs

Ever since there has been the ability to record an image on film or paper, people have taken photos of things that they find attractive.  This also applies to people taking pictures of themselves and others.

The digital age has made this worse, by allowing images that could have been burned or destroyed to find new life on the Internet, without the ability to remove all copies.

It was one thing when a person would take a photo specifically for another, and you knew that you had the negative and every copy (though one wonders if the developer could have a copy?).  You could easily feel comfortable knowing that there were 2 copies and a negative should things go bad.

Now, something happens with your relationship and all your family and friends have that picture that you’d never want them to see.

Explicit Video

And it wasn’t long from there that people started video taping themselves doing intimate things.  For what rationale, I’m not completely sure, but what has resulted is that multiple people in the public—mostly women—have found their reputations enhanced or tarnished by these videos.

Conclusion

It doesn’t matter if you’re Dr. Laura (with photos taken from a boyfriend) or Carrie Prejean (with a sex video and modeling photographs), or Paris Hilton (with a video and other sexually charged images)—you can be sure that anything recorded can come back to haunt you.

Even text, written on a blog about a viewpoint or audio spoken on the radio can be read and misread.  It’s important that we think more about our testimony and reputation than doing something “fun” or “cute” that could hurt and bring more pain than the pleasure we think it will bring.

It occurred to me this morning, as I was preparing for the day, that the situation that Carrie Prejean finds herself in offers us many lessons as to how people, especially Christians, have to live circumspectly in this present age.

Specifically, there are 10 things that I believe that you and I should consider and keep in mind with the culture the way that it is, and over the next few days I’d like to look at them—for some of them we do, some of them we think we’d never do, but we do things like them, and others we need to be aware of.

This is not an attempt to judge Miss Prejean.  I wish her well, and pray that she will find strength and completeness in a relationship with Jesus Christ.  We all fail.  We all fall.  We need to know what we should do when these things happen, and how to avoid it, so just like studying characters from the Bible I think there’s a lot to be learned from just what we’ve heard so far of the episodes of this young lady’s life.

The sad part is, it’s no longer shocking.  First it was racy photos, and now a “sex tape” that has appeared showing former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, in an erotic display that she says was for a boyfriend at the time, she was alone, and she is a teenager in the video.

The tape surfaced and Miss Prejean was in court against Miss USA for taking away her title—she had previously held the title of Miss California until racy pictures and failure to perform her duties as laid out in her contract had that title taken from her.  During the trial, the existence of the tape caused both sides to settle.

Sexting and Erotic Videos

Technology has paved the way to make things that were once private public.  Ever since there were cameras, people have been taking photos with the expressed purpose of eliciting a sexual response.  Some do it for profit, others to attract/keep a boyfriend, and others for the power that it seems to convey.

Cell phones with cameras and the proliferation of photo sharing web sites have made it worse.  Just about anyone with a camera and an Internet can grow a massive audience, and they can also attract money—for more and more exposure.

The Personal Video

However, more people are getting ensnared because they fail to take into account that something that’s recorded may one day find the light of day, regardless of whether they even remember doing it.

Photos that are taken by a person in some stage of undress and sent to another may find their way to all the person’s friends.  And the more erotic the pose or the film, the more there is a chance that can come back to haunt them.

Photos taken and posted on sites like Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking sites can be seen by “friends” that you may not have wanted to share with.

Before You Use that Camera…

I would strongly caution anyone to think twice before taking that picture that you think will be “just for the two of us.”  Think about what would happen if other parties were to find that photo.  How would it effect your family/children.

Then think about whether or not it’s necessary.  Odds are that it is not.