Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

The Pain of Abortion: Sin and Forgiveness

May 15th, 2007 Viewed 2121 times, 1 so far today

Don’t Have a Choice
When MInTheGap asked me to write a post about abortion he didn’t really know what he was getting into. Course, *I* didn’t really know what *I* was getting into when I decided to accept the invitation. I prayed about what to write. I mean what could I say that hasn’t already been said? What could I say that would make an impact in someone’s life? It hit me while I was chatting with the Lord during supper preparations. “Tell your story” was the answer to the question. A painful, scary answer, but since when is the Lord one to ask me to take the easy road? When I committed my life to Him, I committed my past to Him, and I promised to use my failures and my sins to glorify the Lord. So here, is my story. *disclaimer: this story contains adult content, not for young readers*

It starts in the summer after high school graduation. I recall that it was a wonderful summer, beautiful, sunny, not too hot. But I was in a dark, dark place. At the time I thought I knew the Lord, I told people that Jesus was the only way to heaven and I thought that meant I knew Him. But my life was reflecting something else entirely. The painful truth is, that while I was professing Christ, I was profaning His name with my actions.

This is what happened that summer, and the sin that consumed my whole life. It is also a story of redemption and freedom in Christ. I can’t tell you how many men I committed fornication with. To be honest, the Lord has spared me many memories. I was at the time dating a guy who I had been with for over two years. He was nice and gentle, but I was cruel to him and cheated on him many times over. The month I was to leave for college we decided to call it quits. We dated until my last day at home.

The second week at school, I started to get sick. I was two weeks late. I went to the school nurse, where the law protected me from alerting my parents to my medical health condition. She took a pregnancy test, and sure enough I was pregnant. Boy was I sick! I used drugs like LSD and drank like a fish and I was a serious smoker. I reasoned with myself that all of these things were reasons not to carry this baby to term.

I said to myself “You’re just a freshman!” I said to myself “You can’t take care of this baby!” “Think of how horrible its life would be, you’ll be sparing it!” I reasoned with myself that “You don’t even know for sure who the father is, why bother keeping it alone?” I said “You’ll never be able to take care of this baby.” I also said to myself “Your father will hate you, he’ll never take you back!” and other things to convince myself that an abortion was the only answer. I tried to convince myself that the father was the guy I dated for so long, but in my heart of hearts I knew I had no idea who the father was. I called the guy up though and told him it was his and that I had decided to abort the baby. I talked to people on campus. They all agreed that an abortion was the only answer. I never heard one person suggest to me to give the baby for adoption. I never heard one person tell me there was another way. I’m sure the devil really loved that.

I felt justified.

I went to the “doctor”. They showed me an ultrasound of the baby. I seem to recall that I had to ask to see the image. It was just a tiny dot, no bigger than a seed. I thought to myself, “that doesn’t *look* like a baby! ” And I justified my sin to myself again. I cannot say that I didn’t know better. I cannot claim that I was ignorant of who was growing within me, and what that meant. I cannot even suggest that I was just foolish and young. I knew FULL WELL that what I was doing was wrong. I didn’t care, because I wanted my *freedom*. I wanted *my life*. I wanted my choice. I wanted…

I borrowed money to have the “procedure” . I was so aware that what I was doing was wrong that I couldn’t even do it sober. They offered me “laughing gas”. I accepted. I huffed that gas, till I was high as a kite and the nurse took it away from me. Abortions are painful. It hurt physically. As soon as it was over, I went to the “recovery” room. I sat in a chair, and I held the cross on the chain on my neck and I cried so hard. A woman told me “Oh you’ll get over it hunny. It’s no big deal.” Yeah, what a lie. I’m still not over it. Every year that baby’s birthday comes along and I count one more year that I could have had a child. How old is he now? What would she be like? Every time I become pregnant, I cannot help but think again, on how I could have saved that life. I cannot help but think about one baby who never made it into the world because *I* wanted it my way. And I praise the Lord.

I praise the Lord, because He has washed me clean. I can remember that life, so small. I can remember and thank the Lord, that He has the power and the will to forgive me of such a sin. I have confessed to Him that I am a murderer, and yet He loves me. Jesus forgave me, Jesus cleaned me, and in that way I am “over” it. Because I can rest on His broad shoulders, that carried that cross for me. I can trust in Him. I can be thankful that He has blessed me with a godly husband, and a new life! He has blessed me with new babies. He has shown me how to raise them up to love Him. Jesus has been my good shepherd.

If you are considering an abortion. Let me be the one to tell you that you never get over it. It hurts. Not just physically, but gut wrenchingly. It is the most valuable gift of God outside of forgiveness, don’t throw it away. If you cannot care for a baby, there are many people out there who would love the opportunity to care for them. Yes, there is forgiveness. Please, don’t make the same choice I did. Give of yourself, so that a new life might live. Everything I told myself to justify my sin was a lie. Whatever you are telling yourself it is a lie too. God alone knows the future for that child. God alone knows what kind of life they will have. Let me be the one to tell you that there ARE other options.

If you have had an abortion and the sin is causing you great guilt, please know that there is freedom from sin and guilt in the Lord Jesus Christ, who died on the cross and shed His perfect blood for us, that we might be redeemed and brought into relationship with a perfect and holy God. If you do not know the Lord Jesus, repent of your sins. Tell Him in prayer what you have done against Him and His perfect law. Then ask Him to make you clean and to be the Lord of your heart from now on. Decide right now that you want a new life with Him and be born again. Then go find a pastor who will baptize you in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Ghost.

If you have had an abortion and your heart is so hardened by the sin that you no longer feel remorse, I beg you to repent anyway. Ask the Lord to give you a new heart. Ask Jesus to replace that stony heart within you with one of flesh. Repent of your sin and lean on the Lord Jesus who is alone able to forgive us our sins and reconcile us to a forgiving and wholly perfect God.

If you are looking for an adoption agency or someone to support your decision to carry this child to term look here :

In His Loving Embrace,

Mom of 6

The Biggest Challenge Today’s Church Faces

April 1st, 2007 Viewed 2474 times, 1 so far today

MInTheGap has put up a new poll: What is the biggest challenge for the church today? The available answers are broken into two categories, Internal and External issues. The first offered answer is: “Internal: Spiritual Life and Relationship with God”, the second: “Internal:Keeping People in the Church” the third and fourth fall under the External category, third: “External: Reaching the Lost” and fourth: “External: Growing the church”. I found the question to be riveting.

Let me say, I voted for the first one. Here is why: if the first one is being met, then the second and third and fourth will be too.

“But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ. Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men….And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;”Eph 4:7,8,11

“for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ That we [henceforth] be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, [and] cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, [even] Christ: From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.” (Eph. 4:12-16)

We are gathered together in the Body of Christ, in which He has set apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers (v.11), the people gifted in these ways are leadership, and they have a purpose: to perfect the saints. Why? “for the work of the ministry” what is that? The work of the ministry is the Great Commandment, and “for the edifying of the Body of Christ”, in other words for the teaching and growing (spiritual maturity) and encouraging of the church, that “we may grow up into Him in all things”.

And if we grow up into Him, we will come to “the unity of the faith” which would keep the people in the church (second answer), who were truly the Body. Let me make it clear that being IN church, doesn’t make you part of the Body of Christ, you must have salvation to be made a part of His body. I find this verse particularly interesting in lieu of the recent comments in MInTheGap’s post on denominations. If we are mature and grow up fully into Him, we will not have denominations, because we will have unity of faith and not be “blown about by every wind of doctrine”.

Poll Results:
What is the biggest challenge for the church today?* Internal: Spiritual Life and Relationship with God
71% of all votes
* Internal: Keeping People in the church
14% of all votes
* External: Reaching the Lost
14% of all votes
* External: Growing the Church
0% of all votesTotal Votes: 7
Started: March 19, 2007

So if we first address the personal relationship that we have with Christ, the body will be edified, and will grow up into maturity, able to fulfill the evangelical work of reaching the lost (answer three). Look in verse 16, “maketh increase of the body unto edifying of itself in love.” The body, which is grown up in the Lord, is equipped to reach the lost, or to “increase the body” (answer four!) Yes, I found three and four to be basically the same answer, through reaching the lost unto salvation, the church grows “And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved” (Acts 2:47b).

And there you have it folks. If we first concentrate on growing up into Him, and growing the Body (the church) up into Him, then we will solve the three other challenges. We will be unified, and keep people in the church, we will be equipped to spread the gospel and will see the lost be saved, we will be able to see the Lord grow the church through our effective work in evangelism.

The Internet’s Effect on Godly Women

November 14th, 2006 Viewed 4593 times

My Girl

I think to begin this post we must first define what we mean by “godly” woman. The best place for that is the Word. According to 1 Timothy 3:11 which is about how to choose Deacons; a deacon’s wife must be “… grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.” Another place where we can discern what it means to be a godly woman is in Titus 2.

“The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers (honest, not gossips), not given to much wine, teachers of good things;That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:3-5)(Things added in parenthesis are mine, as are the emphasized words.)

On Coming Home….

October 5th, 2006 Viewed 2229 times

Fall Home

(This is a copy of the post at my site,

As most of you know, I am a stay at home wife and mother. I thought I might tell you why, in case you ever wondered.

Biblical Reasons
First and foremost my reasons for coming home and staying there revolve around the Word of God. He has set a role for women to fill, a very special role that ONLY a woman can fill. We were created to be helpers to our husbands Gen 2:18. (mouse over to see verse). It is not good that he be alone, so God created us women especially for our men, to love them and nurture them, to care for their homes and their children as we are commanded in [breast] 2:5 . That we are to be obedient to our husbands Eph 5:22. This does not demean us, or take from us freedom, but rather opens true freedom to us, in that we are free to love as we are made to, and to find joy in being women of purpose.

It seems pretty clear to me that a woman who is seeking to serve her Master, the Lord Jesus, will find in her heart the desire to be at home. If that desire is not there “naturally” the good Lord is faithful to give to those who ask, just as He gave it to me. In order to be a good helper for our husbands, Titus 2 tells us that we must be keepers at home, and obedient to him. Now I have known some men who require their wives to work, I believe it is wrong, but it is not for the woman to rebel against her husband’s wishes. A faithful woman would submit to his desire that she work outside of the home until such time as the Lord changes her husband’s heart and he allows her to come home. Our first priority is serving the Lord, and our second is serving our husbands. After which comes children and home.

When we read the account of a godly woman in Proverbs 31 we see a woman who is hard at work maintaining and growing her family. She works hard, and strengthens her arms, she rises early and provides food and clothes for her family. She delegates to her servants and children, and she buys and sells under the authority of her husband. This does not sound like the menial, and often described “boring” work of being a mother and wife. It sounds like she was wise and discerning, and that she put her hands to work and made a profit. All of this work was done from her home base, with her children under her watchful eye. (They didn’t have a public school or daycare to send them off to in those days!) As I mentioned in my “Argument for Homeschooling” we are commanded to teach our own children at home, by the wayside, when we go out and when we come in, and on and on, precept upon precept Isa. 28:10 and Isa. 28:13 .

Economic Reasons

Contrary to popular belief, a one income home is completely possible in the America. In fact, a one income home run wisely provides more available money than a two income home. Just think about all the money we waste on business attire, makeup, and shoes to look the professional. Just think of all the money that goes down the drain to pay for that second car, and the daycare for your one to three kids, or more! To stop working outside of the home, you must be wise with money, not greedy and frugal, sure. But that is part of the joy of being home, in seeking the most economic and frugal ways to provide for the family you are using your brain in wonderful ways. Those who think that coming home means that your brain goes numb are foolish. They certainly may allow their minds to numb up if they don’t seek ways to use it, but let me tell you, there are myriad ways to put it to good use at home, including: frugality, planning lessons, creating a work at home job, managing time, managing kids (the more you have the harder you work and use that mind!), thinking up ways to serve your family and your community, volunteering.

You see there are plenty of things to think about at home, and you can even make more money staying home. Now for a link to a popular book “The Two Income Trap”, and a blog that interviewed the author. Let it be known that while I agree with the economic understanding of the two income trap, I do not support the book or the blog necessarily, as I am unfamiliar with both. But the book seems to make the reasonable point that two incomes are actually NOT better than one, which I agree with.

FUN Reasons

Let’s face it, going to work 9-5 is USUALLY very boring. It means waking up on someone else’s time schedule, coming in to work for someone else’s profit and taking vacation and time off only with someone else’s approval. Now if you work for yourself you might not have that problem, but I would think most people who work for themselves might be able to work from home. When you are home you are able to do all kinds of fun things, like go to the park with your kids! (Or in the case you don’t have two cars, you ca get together with another mom and her kids!) If you train your children rightly, they are truly fun and a blessing instead of obnoxious and annoying. You can take the kids to the zoo! You can ride bikes together, you can do art projects. Heck make a really difficult project for yourself to get that mind working! You can volunteer in any way that you find fun. You can read, you can watch the TV (though I don’t recommend it, it isn’t very good these days.) You can watch your child take her first step, or say his first word, or eat his first banana. You can play games with other moms or with your kids. You can take the kids to a movie. You can go to amusement parks (if that is your thing). There is all kinds of fun to be had. Just look around for it and get inventive.

Safe Reasons

When you stay home you can watch those kids, and keep them from some of the worse things of life. When you are around to watch them you significantly decrease the chances that they will be kidnapped, molested, raped, or killed in an accident. I’m certainly not saying that these things can’t happen under Mother’s watchful eye, sometimes it does. The case remains that the chances for such awful things to happen decreases.

Loving Reasons

When we care for our children, they feel loved rather than rejected. Even kids who have parents and lose one to death often interpret that as rejection. How much more so to know that your mother or father don’t care to keep company with you. When you stay home you can show your kids that you love them, not just tell them. You have time to go to ball games together, time to work next to each other, time to serve them, all these things show a kid that you love them. (Not to mention doing these things for your husband! but we will get to that.) Baking cookies together shows kids that you care, that you enjoy them, that they are worth knowing and spending time with. Kid’s don’t understand why their mommy has to work, money to the very young is inconsequential. The older kids may have come to realize that they will never have Mother at home, and have stopped wanting that, but now they want all manner of objects. A nice hip sweater or pair of jeans or hundred dollar sneakers. And why do they want those things? For two reasons, 1> they are trying to find ways that you show you love them, through what you buy them, 2> they choose what you buy based on what peers have. Ever notice how this is happening sooner and sooner these days? I think it might have to do with how early we force kids into an unnatural environment filled with their age peers, and only one or two adults.

Marital Reasons

When a woman is home she has time to think about pleasing her husband (as long as she doesn’t spend all her time thinking about pleasing herself or her kids.) To make a marriage work and keep it together a woman must dedicate herself to her husband. (And he ought to be dedicated to her too, but I’m not worried about making men do what they ought, I just tell women to do what they ought, and then watch how their men turn around and do what they should too!) When a woman can present herself to her husband in a way that he pleases, she ties him to herself, and no hoochie mama at the office is going to take him from her. When a woman goes out of the way to please her husband, and to love on him and respect him, he is tied to her. He is bolstered inside by her love and admiration of him, and it causes him to love her even more. Even the very selfish man will be tied more securely to the woman who dotes on him and who admires him. What? You don’t think there is anything admirable about your husband?? I bet that hoochie mama at the office might think his “weak will” is “gentleness” and his “refusal to speak” is “listening skills”. Think your husband is arrogant? or confident? Think he is a workaholic or ambitious?? It is all in how you look at it ladies. Train your mind to admire your husband just as he is, and to express that to him, and you will keep him from chasing after the ego pleaser hoochie mama at the office.

I think that this is plenty for now. Questions? Comments?? If you want to read more about this visit Ladies Against Feminism, a forum against the Feminist Movement and for the New Woman’s Movement.

Patriarchy Rules Broken by God?

September 11th, 2006 Viewed 2087 times

Ok so, I read this article over at “adventures in mercy“, about (the virgin) Mary and patriarchy. It is asked whether or not God’s not going to Mary’s headship (her father at this time) and neither to her betrothed husband, and instead going straight to her to bestow His seed within her womb, means that God broke some rules of patriarchy. Or worse yet, that He never wrote those rules to begin with…

Let’s take a closer look. I have a few issues with the whole article to begin with. First of all Molleth, is taking out of context the original article. The original article is supporting the amazing act of God to send an angel to speak directly to Mary regarding carrying the Savior. It does not bring into any question whether this is “right” or not according to patriarchal “norms”. In fact in the beginning paragraph the original author testifies that she will continue to support women being submitted to their headship, and appreciating the unique role God has bestowed upon us as the weaker vessel, and the whole point of the article is to DEBUNK the prideful ideal that women are not to be submitted, and that patriarchy is a cultural thing, not a GOD thing.

Well, Molleth seems to want to go the opposite direction here, seeking anything that might support the (wrong) theory that women do not need a headship and neither do they need to submit to it. God’s Word is clear. We have been through it before, but lest anyone has forgotten, go read Eph 5:22 through the end of the chapter. There can be no question. And that is only ONE part of scripture that supports patriarchy.

The next “beef” I have with Molleth is that she defines patriarchy as not allowing women to hear from God

On the Culture of Casualness

September 1st, 2006 Viewed 7995 times, 1 so far today

Ok, first let me thank MInTheGap for asking me to guest post here. I have never been asked to post anywhere! Wow, I’m flattered! That said; let’s get down to business…

Today’s worldly culture is becoming increasingly casual. Let me list just a few areas that I see this being/becoming a problem especially between the sexes:

  • Casualness of dress, immodesty.
  • Casualness of speech.
  • Casualness of space, which I define as a lack of separation between the sexes in general.

Pretty in HeelsImmodesty is influenced by casualness in that men and women alike feel free to dress down, and without care. Often this leads to a lack of covering, which promotes sexual thoughts about persons with whom you are not intimate (i.e. married to). When our culture became casual in dress, it left the woman’s (and man’s) body open like a book to be flipped through casually. Men walk down the street and flip through the pages of female forms everyday. When a person does not cover their body– the form of a woman or the bulging muscles of a man– it becomes casual: available to any observer.

The casualness with which we can view other’s bodies, devalues the precious gift of your spouse’s body given to you in marriage. For example, when you are constantly exposed to ladies legs, breasts and hips, (or for women the muscles and chest of men or even men in their undies!) you become numb to it in a way. Then when you marry, those things are not as exciting as they would have been if you had never seen them. What you would have given to your wife, in praise of her body, is lost to those on the street.

I am not saying that men do not praise their wives’ body or women their husbands… However, something is lost; it is that FIRST expression that is lost, the novelty of it, the excitement of it, the newness and innocence of your first marital view of your spouse. Furthermore, the idea that no one else has ever seen YOUR spouse is lost. If you as a man or woman have ever worn tight fitting clothing, others have envisioned your body naked. You aren’t such a nice new package anymore made by God just for your spouse!

Furthermore, while not all Christians struggle with this, the casualness of the body promotes early sexual experience and many sexual partners. What used to be considered bad for a guy and just out right terrible for a woman is now flaunted by both. Both men and women are “players”, people who experience multiple partners in casual settings. One night stands are nearly as common for women as for men. Also related is the casualness with which the life of the baby created during these casual experiences is disposed of. And the increasing statistics on rape are likely attributed by the casualness of the covering of our bodies, among other casual issues to be discussed…


Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.