MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

So What’s There to Talk About?

July 9th, 2014 Viewed 1223 times
This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series The Complete Husband
737353: The Complete Husband
The Complete Husband
By Lou Priolo

In this chapter, the author stars out with a personal account of a moving incident in his life where a music minister made the following comment to him:

If we Christians are in any business at all, it’s the communication business.

And he’s right.  Whether it’s preaching the gospel, teaching others to make disciples or admonishing a brother we’re communicating.  In fact, Priolo stats that there are over forty communication commands in the New Testament epistles!

The point that he’s trying to make is that we have to be communicating with one another if we’re going to be able to experience the level of intimacy that is called for in marriage.  The degree to which we are willing to reveal ourselves to each other will have a direct impact on how close we can get to one another.  That’s why the questions that he had us guys ask our wives in the last section cut so close to the heart.  We have to be willing to be vulnerable if we want to learn our wife’s heart.

So, practically, this means that we, as husbands, need to be talking to our wives.  If you need a handful of suggestions about what to talk about, he provides a few:

  1. Bible Doctrine – Does your wife feel comfortable talking with you about what the Bible says?  Asking you questions?
  2. Your home – It’s the “base of operations” for your wife’s ministry.  “The condition and appearance of your home is probably more important to her than you realize.”
  3. The children – Dad, your the manager in the home, and you’re the one ultimately responsible.  You should be talking about your children.
  4. Your job – Since she’s your helper she may be able to help you better if she knows what’s gone on during your day– no matter how much you don’t want to talk about it.
  5. Her family (your in-laws) – There have been many Biblical conflicts that had inlaws at the center of them.  You need to have Biblical conversations about her family and their influence.
  6. Her friends – Do you care about who she chooses as friends?  They can influence her for good or evil.  You have an outside view in, you should be giving her the benefit of your perspective.
  7. Her ministries (inside and outside of the home) – “Life is a ministry.”  Are you encouraging her to minister outside the home?  Are you helping her discover her gifts for service?
  8. Her goals for the future – Personal goals, goals of mutual interest, and other goals she has should be exciting for us as well.
  9. Specific ways you can be a better husband and father – Again with the humility.  But then again, she is a helper, and has a perspective that we don’t.  “When was the last time you asked you wife for her evaluation of how you’re doing in these areas?”
  10. Things you do which bother her – This topic is guaranteed to provide you hours of interesting discussion.

Whew– and that’s only to get your started!


By now you know, the link is to where you can pick up the book. This post is all mine.

Never Pay Full Price For These Things

July 9th, 2014 Viewed 1050 times, 1 so far today

Christian Personal Finance lists 15 things for which you shouldn’t pay full price.  The first one?  Toothpaste!

Shopping

July 9th, 2014 Viewed 1051 times
He wants to find the best deal.  She doesn't care as long as she gets to buy something and hold his hand.

He wants to find the best deal. She doesn’t care as long as she gets to buy something and holds his hand.

He is No Fool Who Gives What He Cannot Keep to Gain What He Cannot Lose

July 9th, 2014 Viewed 495 times

One of my all time favorite quotes from Jim Elliot.

11 Questions to Ask Your Wife

July 8th, 2014 Viewed 1185 times
This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series The Complete Husband
737353: The Complete Husband
The Complete Husband
By Lou Priolo

The best way to get to know your wife is to talk to her.  But instead of asking her about the weather, try instead to ask her things that build your relationship– intimate questions.

In the second chapter (entitled Back to School for the Rest of My Life!) of our book, the author suggests 11 questions that we can ask our wives to get to know them better.  Warning, these are not for the faint of heart:

  1. If you could change three things about me that would make me more Christ-like, what would you change?
  2. Do I have any other annoying mannerisms or irritating idiosyncrasies that you would like to see me change?
  3. How does it make you feel when I… (name something that you know displeases her)?
  4. What goes through your mind when I… (name something that you know displeases her)?
  5. What do you want from me that I’m not giving you at the moment I… (name something that you know displeases her)?
  6. What specifically would you like to see me do to change in this area (name something that you know displeases her)?
  7. On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate our marriage?
  8. What would it take to make our marriage a ten?
  9. What is your opinion about?
  10. What personal goals do you have for your life?  How may I help you achieve them?
  11. Do you have any needs or desires that you believe I ought to be meeting or fulfilling better than I do?  What are they?

He then goes on to tell us to add further questions of our own.

One thing’s for sure, if you start with these questions I’m sure your wife will say some interesting things!


The link above is an affiliate link. I get a portion of the proceeds if you choose to purchase it (though the price does not change). I was not paid to write this post.

True Facts – A series of Infographics

July 8th, 2014 Viewed 754 times, 1 so far today

Here’s my favorite of the True Facts charts made by New Creations:

facts1More at the link!

Dating

July 8th, 2014 Viewed 686 times

Dating HeimlichAlways knowing there’s someone around to give you the Heimlich Maneuver-just in case.

Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out

July 8th, 2014 Viewed 487 times

A Woman’s Roles

July 7th, 2014 Viewed 816 times
This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series The Complete Husband
737353: The Complete Husband
The Complete Husband
By Lou Priolo

In order for husbands to know their wives better, they need to know both about women in general and their woman (you) in particular.  You see, ladies, sometimes your very patterns of behavior totally confuse a man, especially when he thinks he has you figured out.

Like take an average trip to Wal*Mart.  I was sent to go pick up the yogurt for the week.  Knowing that Virtuous Blonde has mentioned in the past that she likes Key Lime Pie Yogurt, I pick up a bunch– thinking that I’ve gotten her favorite kind to eat.

After getting home and eating them for a few days, I begin to wonder why she’s eating the yogurt I picked out for myself, since there are still more Key Line Pie Yogurts in the refrigerator.  It turns out that she really doesn’t like those any more– but unlike my computer that notifies me that an update is available, she didn’t tell me.

Back to roles, since it’s important for Husbands and Wives to know their Biblical roles, Lou Priolo has a chart, which I will condense here:

Woman’s Role / Responsibility Scripture Reference
To be a suitable helper Genesis 2:18
To be submissive to her husband Ephesians 5:22
To glorify her husband 1 Corinthians 11:7-9
To reverence her husband Ephesians 5:33
To adorn herself with a meek and quiet spirit 1 Peter 3:3-4
To be pure and respectful in her conduct 1 Peter 3:2
To be wise and kind in word (and heart) Proverbs 31:26
An Older Woman is:

  • To be reverent in behavior
  • To not be enslaved to wine
  • To not be a malicious gossip
  • To teach what is good
  • To teach younger women
Titus 2:3-4
A younger woman is:

  • To be loving to her husband and children
  • To be discreet
  • To be pure
  • To be a keeper of the home
  • To be kind
  • To be subject to her husband
Titus 2:5

He then goes on to list a woman’s makeup:

Characterological Make-up Scripture Reference
She was made out of man 1 Corinthians 11:8
She was made for man 1 Corinthians 11:9
She was made after man 1 Timothy 2:13
She has a penchant to control her husband Genesis 3:16
She is more easily deceived 1 Timothy 2:14
She is to view herself as a bodily member and her husband as her head Ephesians 5:23

Whew, there’s a lot in the Scripture about you ladies!


The link above is an affiliate link and will take you to where you can purchase the book. I received no compensation for this post, the thoughts are all mine, except when quoted from the book as noted in the post.

Life Is A Series of Tests

July 7th, 2014 Viewed 700 times

You really need the rest at Adam4d.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.