MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

Slinky Clothing Provokes Rape?

March 3rd, 2010 Visited 3605 times, 2 so far today

Running a website on modesty, I have heard all sorts of reasons of why a woman should wear modest clothing.  Most of the reasons center around what different clothing does to guys that look at it, and a desire not to cause men to lust after a woman.

The problem with this logic is that this takes away the personal responsibility of the man to avoid looking at things that cause them to be tempted—and to resist temptation when it comes upon them.

Islamic and Jewish Clothing Choices

In Eastern countries, much more clothing is worn by women than it is today.  The benefit is that a woman can be fairly certain that the only body that their husband sees in their own—there’s less competition.

The problem is that where there is more clothing, there is also a higher degree of temptation for something that would be innocuous in countries with lower clothing standards.

That is why hearing stories where men in Arab countries have raped women there simply because they were filled with lust because she showed some skin (an ankle/calf or an arm) are all too often—and tragic.  However, it’s the same thing that is happening in our country where women are wearing less and showing more, and men become desensitized to certain amounts of skin.

Cheerios

For example, I was out looking for healthy cereal choices, and I found Multi-Grain Cheerios.  Sounds healthy, right?  (You’re supposed to commend me here, just so you know.)  And what’s on the back?  Two healthy women—you can tell as much because they’re both looking like they have a healthy weight, and the one on the right is showing the top part of her chest—and some cleavage there.

We as a society have accepted seeing the tops of women’s breasts even though seeing that could have an effect on the male mind.

So, Does Slinky Clothing Provoke Rape?

Some people would have you believe that it does.  What it does is promote exactly what it’s supposed to…

Let me put it this way.  Would you buy clothing labeled “sexy” that was a tent?  What do you think that clothing that looks “sexy” is supposed to look like?

If you said “form fitting”, “showing skin”, “low necklines”, or “short skirts”—you’re on the right track.  The label is telling you what to expect—of the clothing and of the reactions.

So, if you’re wearing clothing designed to get a reaction from men, and some men are not as good at holding back as others, are you increasing the odds of getting a poor reaction?  Certainly.

Is it all the girl’s fault?  Nope.  It’s both.

It’s the man’s fault for not controlling himself1, but it’s also the woman’s fault for wearing clothing that has been labeled with a specific purpose—to excite the sexual appetite in men.

Like the woman pictured above, women should strive for “beauty” over “sexy”.


  1. and I would definitely assign more blame to him! []

Comments

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  • Eric says on: March 13, 2010 at 1:57 pm

     

    The logic proposed in this post is scary. Are you saying that the ultimate end of uncontrolled lust is rape? That if I do not control my lustful desires toward a woman, given the opportunity I will inevitably rape her? I’m afraid this sort of thinking shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of rape. Any experienced criminologist, rape psychologist, or victim counselor will tell you that rape is not a crime of sex, but of power and violence. Rape is not violent sex, it is sexual violence.

    Honestly, many men, including myself, can’t imagine doing something so brutal and evil to a woman. This is because it is not the natural response to lust at all, but rather a premeditated, fantasized act that is committed by someone who has spent years being desensitized and having their personal view of women degraded through pornography and fantasies of sexualized violence. A man with a healthy view of women and sex would not even dream of committing such a horrible act as rape, no matter how enticed and aroused he became.

    Rape is not natural, nor is it just a symptom of “uncontrolled lust”. To say that a woman is partially responsible for a brutal, merciless attack against herself by a sadist who won’t take no for an answer is to reduce the man responsible to an animal who is only responding to some kind of primal “instinct”. This view is dangerous and only hurts the victims by making them feel that they somehow did something to deserve such an evil act.

    No matter how angry a woman makes me, it is not partially her fault when I murder her. No matter what expensive jewelry she wears, it is not partially her fault when I rob her. No matter what revealing clothing she wears, it is not partially her fault when I rape her. To suggest that it is should be a crime.

    • MInTheGap says on: March 15, 2010 at 8:47 am

       

      According to RAINN, 2/3 of rapes were committed by someone known to the victim. Every instance of rape is the battle of wills. The question of this post was to ask what part, if any, is played by suggestive clothing.

      To assume that a man sees a woman and then decides to rape her in the next few minutes is laughable. Rape happens in many different circumstances– few of them are not planned. So what contributes to a person’s choice of victim?

      It’s someone they know, someone that is attractive to them, someone that they want to have power over. Yes, it can happen to those that dress modestly, but I’m not sure that the statistics would bear that out.

      We’re in a sexualized culture, and that contributes to the prevalence of rape and rape accusations. The line has been blurred– not necessarily by the woman that was the victim as by womanhood in general. When what women advertise non-stop is sex, when they are constantly photographed and wearing clothing that says that they’re open, and then they turn out not to be– that is what this post is getting at.

      No one is wholly guilty for the violence placed upon them. No one is completely innocent of it either (don’t let that touchy boyfriend be in your house/or alone with him, avoid the unsafe part of town at night, carry a weapon, etc.).

  • Eric says on: March 17, 2010 at 2:39 pm

     

    It is true that victims of rape are often singled out according to various factors, but very seldom is one of those factors the “sexiness” of the woman, or how much flesh she shows. The biggest deciding factor is her vulnerability, because the rapist wants to get away with it, of course. No matter what she’s wearing, if she’s vulnerable, she’s game.

    Although I agree with you that there are ways a woman may reduce her vulnerability, I must question the idea that a woman is partially responsible for a man forcing himself on her. There have been many cases of a woman being kidnapped and/or raped, without having done anything to provoke it, in a public place that should have been safe. The point is that the decision to rape is the rapists, and nothing a woman does even partially forces a man to make that decision. If the woman happens to be somewhere alone, it may make the rapists decision easier because of his own deviousness, but is she now responsible for his decision? To claim that a woman is not wholly innocent of her own rape is to reduce the rapist to some kind of partial-victim who just can’t help himself under the right circumstances. The fact is that he CAN. If you or I were to stumble upon a completely naked woman drugged out of her mind in a dark alley, we would not even dream of taking advantage of her, and would do all we could to get her help. Bring a rapist into the alley, and everything changes. Did she change anything? No, the responsibility for such a heinous act as rape lies solely with the rapist.

    • MInTheGap says on: March 17, 2010 at 2:48 pm

       

      If I’ve said that the woman has a part, I believe that I have mentioned it was a small part– not a big part. Obviously the man should control himself. The only kind of man that takes advantage of a woman the way that you insinuated is one that has dwelt too long in his lust to the point where he sees the woman as an object not a person.

      This is exactly the point– the objectification of women occurs because of a number of factors, one of which is the way in which they allow themselves to be seen for what they are (women) instead of who they are (a human being). If there’s blame, it’s on society and women as a whole, rather than the particular woman that ends up being the target.

      Again, the man bears a majority of the responsibility– an overwhelming majority with this caveat: If we’re not talking about the stalking rape (most rapes are performed by someone known to the victim) and more like date rape, then the woman may have led the man to a point where sex was implied and then not granted. At this point, the amount of blame gets bigger for the woman– though it still doesn’t exceed the man’s.

  • Eric says on: March 17, 2010 at 3:29 pm

     

    First, the point at which sex is implied depends a lot on the man. A man with a twisted mind is going to read “sex” in things that others wouldn’t. Second, even implied sex is no excuse. As soon as the woman says no, or anything of the kind, all implications mean nothing and the man should respect her wishes. Any man who doesn’t is wholly responsible.

    I agree that society, namely pornography and men’s use of it, is to blame for the mass objectification of women, and that many women have followed this societal stereotype not realizing the damage they’re doing to their own image. I also agree that objectification is a big part of rape. However, ultimately it was the man’s choice to view pornography, and the man’s choice to rape. Placing blame on the poor woman he targets denies how deep his problem really runs.

    Believe me, I have known and counseled victims of rape, date and otherwise, and often the rapist seemed like a normal, trustworthy guy until she made the unwitting mistake of being alone with him. The amount of undeserved blame rape victims place on themselves is often overwhelming enough without everyone else blaming them as well. Many victims don’t even report the attack or reach out for help because they are afraid they will be blamed. This should not be.

    • MInTheGap says on: March 17, 2010 at 3:43 pm

       

      If I offered you a free t-shirt, and then I kept telling you to wait until tomorrow to get it, and I did this for multiple days– telling you I was going to give it to you, showing it to you, letting you hold it but taking it back– and then I tell you that you can have it, but when you’re about to walk out the door with it I take it back– how much would you think I’d blame you for taking it with you? Not that it’s right. Not that it isn’t theft because I didn’t give it to you. But how much blame?

      I’m not saying it’s not the man’s fault– which is how your wording implies. I’m saying that, especially in the case of date rape, the relationship usually runs deeper than the guy that chose to violently rape someone. And let’s not forget those that have sex and then decide it wasn’t consensual.

      I don’t know if I can exclusively blame pornography either. When people use two girls fighting in a pool to sell bear, have the girl fake an orgasm to sell shampoo, and say “It’s all about the O in Overstock.com” it’s more than just pornography.

  • Eric says on: March 17, 2010 at 4:14 pm

     

    You are right. If a woman offers sex over and over again, takes her clothes off, and allows her date to touch her, she is to blame. She is to blame for sexual immorality and seduction. But she is not to blame for rape. Rape crosses a line on many levels, and is far more serious than carrying a shirt through a door. I might carry the shirt away out of frustration, just to teach you a lesson. I’m sure you would agree that forced penetration goes way beyond that illustration. The man who date rapes is just as depraved as any other type of rapist, if not more so. The simple fact that their is a deeper relationship there should make him quicker to respond when she says no.

    And although the victims who “cry wolf” make it harder on the true victims, they are a vast minority, and they have little to do with this discussion. I’m not sure why you brought them up.

  • Kay says on: December 2, 2010 at 5:33 pm

     

    I just read through this entire article and find it completely disgusting and disturbing. How a woman dresses has nothing to do with a man choosing to attack and rape her! Rape is not about sex or sexual attraction. It is about control and victimizing another person. Rapists choose their victims based on how easily they feel they can intimidate and if the target is vulnerable.

    Statistics do not support your claim. Not only is it’s completely absurd, ignorant, and uninformed, it is dangerous to promote as it contributes to the number of rapes committed and to those that go unreported.

    • MInTheGap says on: December 4, 2010 at 8:38 pm

       

      I’m not a rapist, but perhaps you have a better grasp on how they think. Can you tell me whether they think a person dressed in sexual or sensual material is more or less easy to be intimidated? Can you provide the statistics (not just appeal to an unknown authority) to back up your claim?

      You said that you read this entire article. At what point in this article do I make the claim that there is a correlation or causation? I believe I make the statement that “some would claim” and that I also state that I blame the man. I do spend time discussing how clothing effects men, and that is part of the point of the article, but methinks you’ve read something in there that’s not there.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

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