MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

Forsaking Her Husband

July 24th, 2008 Visited 3087 times, 1 so far today
This entry is part 5 of 8 in the series The Other Woman

Seductress

The Seductress can take many forms.  She can be a single woman or a married woman.  In this particular case, we learn that the Seductress has forsaken the companion of her youth1.

Now, it’s certainly true that we live in a much different society than when Proverbs was written.  In that day, women and men were betrothed—so the percentages of married women was much higher than today.  They also got married a whole lot earlier—much closer to puberty—such that there were not an abundance of single women around.

This verse still has application to both versions of the Seductress.

The Single Seductress

Much has been done since the 1960’s to push the idea of free love—and in the area of feminism, free love equates to the lowered morality of women.  Women are now to pursue, and not just be pursued.  They are to claim conquests much as men have (wrongfully done), and they are told that they should have no emotional problems with it.

The Single Seductress isn’t forsaking the “companion of her youth” by cheating in the straightforward way.  She’s forsaking it by cheating on her future husband.  She is stealing from him her life, her physical uniqueness, and her emotions—no not all of these things, but with every relationship she enters (even the one night stand) she is making herself cheaper, and has less to offer a future husband.

What about those that will never marry?  To this question I would ask “Who does the Single Seductress prey on?”  Since there are two people involved in a relationship, the Single Seductress is having an effect on the boy/man that she preys on.  She’s seducing the married man to cheat, and the unmarried man to be immoral.

The solution is simple and hard—both men and women should save their intimacy (both physical and emotional) until they are married.  I know it’s easier said than done, but it can be done, and has been done many times over.

The trick is making sure that you have a plan to stay pure—that  you’ve take the time and realize that Purity Comes Before Passion, and that you can’t wait until you’re emotionally involved to make your decision.

The Married Seductress

Pop Culture

Up until recently, the Married Seductress would have been the one most people would have stated was morally wrong.  However, the culture is changing its opinion of the Married Seductress.

Whether it’s the MILF2 trend, the Teacher/Student Sexual relations, or even the movies where the guy no longer learns that he should go back to his wife, but that he should seek happiness and leave her, popular culture has popularized infidelity.

The Married Seductress that seduces a teen boy is seen as a predator by the law, but she is compared for her beauty on social networking sites.  Men lament that “teachers like that weren’t around in my day” and still others believe that nothing wrong was done.

Both are Wrong, but She’s the Worst

The Married Seductress is the one mentioned in Proverbs 7.  Note what she tells the young man she found in the way:

For my husband is not at home;
He has gone on a long journey;

He has taken a bag of money with him,
And will come home on the appointed day.”

Notice, she is betraying him while he’s not around.  This is a promise of false security.  Yes, her husband may not be there today, and has said that he will not come back until the morning, but this should be setting off warning flags in his mind.

Things of this nature are never a secret.  Things like this always come out—whether it’s Presidents with Interns or Teachers with Students, the truth will come out, and destruction lies in its wake.  Destruction of the Married Seductress’ family, career, and perhaps jail time.  Destruction of the boy/man’s character, perhaps a child, and the knowledge of what he did to another man’s home.

Proverbs has a lot to say about the Married Seductress:

Can a man take fire to his bosom,
And his clothes not be burned?

Can one walk on hot coals,
And his feet not be seared?

So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.

Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;
He who does so destroys his own soul.

Wounds and dishonor he will get,
And his reproach will not be wiped away.

For jealousy is a husband’s fury;
Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.

He will accept no recompense,
Nor will he be appeased though you give many gifts.

The Jealous Husband

The fury of a Jealous Husband who finds out about his wife’s infidelity will lead to anger kindled both at the wife, and more so the man that yielded.  It is strong and just.

In this present day, the honor of a husband/wife bond may be trivialized by the culture, but that doesn’t change the internal feelings that one who has been cheated on goes through.

Preventing the Married Seductress

It’s sad to say that I believe that most women could become the Married Seductress because of how her husband treats her.  If your wife is no more than a possession, and you show no affection, the odds are that her desire to emotionally attach with someone will become overwhelming.  She shouldn’t become the Married Seductress, but she may find herself there.

So, husbands, we need to love our wives as Christ loved the church—give ourselves for her, adore and cherish her.

The primary admonition is for the wives, however.  Proverbs 2:17 clearly states that the Married Seductress has forsaken the companion of her youth.  She decided to stop being satisfied with him and started looking elsewhere.

You’re both in a committed relationship—you committed yourself to him when you married “forsaking all others.”  That means regardless of what’s going on right now you’re his and he is yours.  You should be working on your marriage as much as he is.  You should not be looking elsewhere to meet your emotional needs.  This includes confiding in male friends, making emotional bonds with male friends, spending time with males, etc.

Because we all are sinners, and we all will be tempted to bond with people we spend time with.  And though you may not think of yourself as a seductress, if you’re building a relationship with a man3 that is not your husband, you’re seducing them.

Series Navigation<< Her End is Death and the DeadShe is a Cheap Imitation >>

  1. Proverbs 2:17 []
  2. Mother I would Love to Fornicate With – In non-swear words []
  3. This applies to men as well, it’s just repetitive to say the same things over again! []

Comments

4 Comments

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  • AG says on: July 24, 2008 at 2:00 pm

     

    It continually awes me how “cool” unfaithfulness has become. I would encourage men and women, both, to be careful what they let their eyes see and ears hear. I believe soap operas are a big reason for infidelity. Not only does it glamorize it, but it also gives people an unrealistic version of what a lover should be like. Once unsatisfaction in the current relationship takes root, infidelity is just a stone’s throw away.

  • MInTheGap says on: July 24, 2008 at 2:26 pm

     

    @AG: Unfortunately it’s not just soap operas now. The other night my wife and I saw “Definitely, Maybe” and whereas a generation ago this movie would have played out like the Parent Trap, this time it played out with the guy deciding to go ahead and divorce his wife to move in with the girl that he never had.

    All along the way everyone was sleeping with everyone else.

    The sad thing is that people don’t understand why purity is important. They think that relationships are all about the physical and only realize the emotional hurt after it happens. And then they get involved in another physical relationship so that they can hide that hurt.

  • Rachel says on: July 24, 2008 at 3:02 pm

     

    This is a great post. I look forward to reading the others from this series.

    I am concerned for the children being raised in this culture. We had it somewhat when I was growing up (80’s & early 90’s with the working moms) but the sanctity of marriage has pretty much gone out the window. One of the things I feel I’m going to need to teach my daughter when she gets a little older is how to minister to those whose parents just quit each other to pursue pleasure elsewhere. Thankfully (praise the Lord) my daughter has good examples to follow: both my parents and my husband’s parents have been married for 30+ years, and her 3 sets of great-grandparents have all been married since the 40s and 50s. But I am concerned for all the children who are products of divorce (especially divorces that come from bad choices on the part of the parents) and that have no concept of what the word commitment is.

    Rachels last blog post..TILT: McD’s Bacon Ranch Salad

  • MInTheGap says on: July 25, 2008 at 3:31 pm

     

    @Rachel: Thanks, I’m glad you stopped by.

    I think that the root of all of this comes back to the value of children. I’ll try to develop this in a post or two coming up, but I think that when we started devaluing children we turned the whole marriage thing upside down.

    You’re right, we need to make sure that our kids understand commitment, the value of marriage, and purity. I hope you enjoy the rest of the series.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

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