MInTheGap

Often, we can remember to say “I Love You” and show it when we are young and first “fall in love” with each other, but when it gets to the point that you’ve been together for years, what you do and say that are not those three words mean more than saying them. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t tell your spouse you love them, but let me suggest (for the man and the woman) some ways that you can say I love you without saying it.

Husbands

Connect Physically

1. Hold her hand
2. Giver her a back/neck massage
3. Play with her hair
4. Massage her feet
5. Open her door
6. Give her a hug
7. Offer your arm
8. Cuddle next to her while sitting down
9. Put your arm around her neck
10. Offer your shoulder for her head

Around the House

1. Make the bed, before she gets to it
2. Cook her a meal
3. Vacuum the house
4. Play her a song– a favorite of hers
5. Do that project she’s been asking you about
6. Do a project that you know needs to be done without her asking
7. Change the infant’s diaper
8. Go to sleep with her at night
9. Let her sleep in while you watch the kids
10. Buy her some flowers for display

Ideas

1. Leave notes around the house telling her how much you love her
2. Write a message on the mirror with soap while she’s in the shower
3. Call them from work just to talk (not during her nap
4. Send her an e-mail card (but not too often)
5. Write her a snail-mail letter and have it delivered to the house when you’re not there
6. Call the grandparents to watch the kids for the night and surprise her by taking her out.
7. Take the children out and let her have the day off
8. Let her have a ladies night out
9. Writer her a poem
10. Help your kids to write her a banner or note

Wives

The problem I have here is that I know that wives are so often showing their love that it would take something out of the ordinary to be different, and yet I will list some things (and they’re probably dual purpose ).

Connect Physically

1. Prepare his meals
2. Run his house
3. Help raise his kids
4. Greet him at the door with a kiss
5. Hold his hand
6. Cuddle with him
7. Give him a massage
8. Lay your head on his lap the next time you’re watching television
9. Walk over and sit on his lap
10. Give him a back rub

Ideas

1. Give him some time to work on a project that he has been working on
2. Talk to him about what interests him
3. Sneak a note in with his lunch
4. Call him and tell him that you are thinking about him
5. Tell him that you appreciate what he does for the family
6. Write a letter or something and leave it where he can find it.
7. Get his favorite candy or treat just for him
8. Talk good about him to your friends
9. Talk good about him in front of him
10. Encourage his dreams

Siblings

1. Obedience is the best way to show love
2. Stand behind your parents decisions, even if you don’t agree
3. Create something to give to them to display on the fridge
4. Ask to help do something around the house that you don’t usually do
5. Let your parents sleep in one day
6. Share your favorite toy with your sibling
7. Invite your brother/sister to come with you when going over to someone’s house
8. Make something special for dad to take to work
9. Spend some time helping a younger sibling learn something they are having trouble with
10. Clean up your room without being asked.

Friends

1. Stand up for your friend when he is alone
2. Be truthful to a friend, even if it hurts
3. Always make time to talk to a friend
4. Always listen completely to what a friend has to say
5. Be a part of the group that encourages your friend to follow his dream
6. Remember his/her birthday
7. Be there to help a friend move
8. Be understanding when family must come first
9. Talk positively about your friend when he is not around
10. Be on the look out for things that may help your friend

Things you can say to that special someone

1. I adore you
2. I appreciate you
3. There’s no one else I could ever want to be with
4. My life is not the same without you
5. I care about you
6. Please be there for me
7. I trust you
8. I will never leave you
9. I will always be there for you
10. You complete me

Things you can say to your friend

1. Thank you
2. I couldn’t have done it without you
3. I owe you more than you could possibly know
4. Whatever you need done, I’ll do it
5. Don’t worry, I’ll be there (and make it)
6. I promise…
7. I’ll be praying for you
8. I’ll be there right away
9. Don’t worry, I don’t have to go
10. Drive Safely

Love Poems

1. Love Spell
2. Cinderella
3. A Special World
4. If I could…
5. It’s You
6. A Stranger Once
7. The Jewel
8. Never Have I Fallen
9. Your Name
10. Love

And 101 - Play the Randy Travis song “I’m Going to Love You Forever.”

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An often misused piece of Scripture is Paul’s statement that he has become all things to all men that he might win some.  I say misused because people have taken this Scripture to give them liberty to do things that would harm the name of Christ and emphasizes a “ends justifies the means” mentality.

Still, it will no longer do to just sit in our churches and expect the unsaved to come to us looking for answers.  Seriously, there are few instances now where the unsaved are turning to the churches for anything. There is no natural respect for the church or what it stands for, and this generation does not have the desire to return to church.  Since this is the case, we need to be out meeting them where they are.

This can be done door-to-door, through passing out tracks, and other open air evangelism, but as we talked before, the greatest potential for seeing people saved and developing a passion for God exists in reaching out to those in need– especially children.

Outreaches that have traditionally done this are Good News Clubs and 5-Day Clubs.  The problem that I have had with these, traditionally, is three fold:

1. They are typically not run by a church, but by an “extra-church” organization.
2. They are not usually focused on bringing people into a church, but tend toward just working with kids who are already Christians.
3. They focus exclusively on the children, possibly missing out on opportunities to reach out to parents.

Don’t get me wrong– any ministry that is seeing souls saved, lives changed, and people are passionate about ministering in is worthwhile.  What I am saying is that without an overarching plan– a reason for doing this ministry– what we can find ourselves having is a lot of little islands and missed opportunities.

What I am suggesting is the creation of ministry with purpose, and my purpose for these ministries would be to:

1. Have these people be the front lines: Spreading the Gospel and Meeting Needs.
2. Getting people familiar with the Word of God and basic terms.
3. Teaching young children how to read the Bible and study it for themselves.
4. Encouraging the connection between individuals and a local church.

What we’ll look at over the next few weeks we’ll look at some concepts and the “bridge work” (if you will) to reach the lost, and grow the church like Jesus commanded.

Newsweek recently featured the Iraq War in the words of those that have fought and died in it.  They took excerpts from letters over the total conflict and pieced together what was happening in different people’s lives during the time, occasionally injecting how the person died.  Every time you read a person talking about coming home, and then read that a week or a day before they were to go home they were killed, you were struck with awe and sorrow.

And yet it was the letters– complete letters– at the back of the issue that really hit home.  I believe that it’s a mandatory thing for each person going into a field of combat to write a “if you get this letter” letter.  There were a few such letters, and they were filled with encouragement and hope– many of them talking of being right with God and seeing their loved ones later.

What are you leaving behind for your children?  They say that there are two things that are certain: death and taxes.  Most of you have filed your taxes, what have you done for your death?

Have you gotten a will?  In some states if you have not spelled out what will happen with your estate should you and your spouse die the state gets it (including children) and they determine what is best.

But what are you leaving written to those that are left?  Not just have you told them your favorite songs for your funeral or what you want done, but have you written them something?  What would your youngest child know about their parent and their passion?

You cannot assume that you will never die.  What you will leave behind in the case of the unexpected is up to you.

Here’s some links on Compacting, Purging and Simplifying Your Life…

The Compacting Committment - Meg talks about the compacting commitment and looks at it from a Christian perspective.

Room to Breathe - Amy talks about how she simplifies her life by purging out extra toys and clothes. Wash them more, but have less makes it so it doesn’t get out of control, or so she says.

Steve Pavlina writes:

There are a few rules that have served me well whenever I go through a purge cycle:

1. When in doubt, throw it out.
2. Ask, “What would be the worst-case outcome if I threw this item out by mistake?” If the answer is little or nothing, throw it out.
3. Could someone else benefit from this item more than I would?

Liss76 is purging this year, and keeping track of the amount in pounds!

Annie recommends having a toy garage sale for your children. They are much better at choosing what toys they really want than you think, and if you have older children let them know that they can pocket the profits.

Carol Keller talks about organizing one’s kitchen. Simply put, check out your current needs, weed out those things that are seldom used, throw out the things that don’t work.

airforcewife did something I don’t recommend, but understand. She purged while the husband was away because he wouldn’t. But she had the following advice that’s golden:

If you haven’t worn the clothes in the last two years, you do not need them (this is mainly a guideline for me). Pieces of fence chain from 1992 are really not necessary. And just how many stuffed animals are necessary for my kids’ survival? Apparently in excess of five thousand. Anything over that number and I send it to Goodwill.

Sorry that this is a little late! I must have missed the reminder.
Anyone wishing to host the next carnival, comment and let me know.

It has only recently become evident that the key to changing society was through the next generation.  For many years, Christians watched as the Bible and Godly morals were questioned and removed from our schools and we got somewhat upset, but did not realize the full impact of the replacement.

Now, many wage their battles with our children in the schools, and many have removed their children from the schools altogether– realizing just how powerful having the time every day to expose children to values in this way is.

We are quickly seeing the erosion of basic knowledge of God and the Bible to the point that we are becoming the pagan country a lot of people try to claim we already are.  It reminds me of the end of the book of Joshua and into the book of Judges where we see the commentary: and they followed the Lord all the days of Joshua and those that followed after him.  We will quickly see the result of a group of children that know not God.

And we’re seeing it in our churches– by the attendance, by the desire to be entertained rather than worshipping God.  We are seeing a generation that is consumed with self, unknowing of what it’s like to take a stand for faith and to be persecuted– except for with words.

What we choose to do in our youth groups, in our Sunday Schools and in our services to reach this generation will have to be different than anything that we’ve done before.  We can no longer expect these kids to come to our churches knowing all the basic concepts (that they’re a sinner, that there is a God, etc.) but we must begin to take the Gospel to them.

This is not unlike the way that Paul had to minister on Mars Hill vs. in the synagogues.  In the Jewish synagogues Paul could talk about the law and how it mirrored Christ.  On Mars Hill he had to start with Creation and teach them about God.  This is much harder to do, but it is necessary.

In order for the Church of Jesus Christ to reach those that need salvation, we’re going to need to adjust what we’re doing, because to continue to reach out in the same ways will not work.

If you’ve taken any time to read all the sites out there that talk to you about blogging, how to get people to comment on your blog, and how to get listed and do well in social networking sites, you no doubt have seen a tip that reads something like this:

Say something controversial.

For people in the media business, this is something that many of them do.  Sometimes it’s via the positions that they take, for others it’s the names that they call people.  In still others it’s how they dress and carry themselves.

In the past few weeks, a high profile radio personality (Don Imus) was let go from MSNBC and CBS supposedly for something he said.  Whether it was actually that, or a combination of race relations and the withdrawal of sponsorships has been already been talked to death.  What I want to focus on is the power and unpredictability of what you say and how you say it.

You see, there are many bomb throwers that walk the line in an effort to attract attention.  They give politicians names.  They insult or be brash/radical about their propositions.  And if you agree with what they’re saying about the other person, you can’t help but laugh or smile.

I installed this greasemonkey script called “Keep Republicans Laughing” and it replaced every instance of some politicians names with their “Rush Limbaugh” substitutes.  I admit, I found it amusing when I wasn’t trying to figure out if it was the real text.

But my friend and coworker pointed at it and wondered why I would shrink to name calling.  Part of me hearkened back to my youth when I was in high school and said that if a person cannot have thick enough skin to let things like that just fall off them then they are no more than children.

But, should I be name calling?  Especially as a Christian?  Certainly not.  I have removed that script from running on my browser, and told my coworker that I was wrong, but we need to be really careful that our tongue (and our words on the screen) speak well of Christ– that they carry His love to all, regardless of whether we agree.