guess that means this is handled differently depending on if you are a. a strong christian and b. likely to fail.

MML

At some point, knowing our sinful nature, it comes to preventing wrong things from happening rather than putting yourself into situations where you have to test yourself. A strong Christian avoids circumstances where they have a high probability of failing.

I suppose there are some parents who REALLY meddle. Who after being confronted about it in private in a non-hostile and godly way STILL meddle and disrespect your spouse. In those cases, I hesitatingly, agree that extreme measures may need to be taken. The least extreme first, until finally moving away and severing all ties. However, if that extreme action were to take place, I think we need to consider the ramifications of our decision. For example, if you remove yourself from their meddling, by leaving the vicinity, etc, what kind of an example are you being for Christ?

I think if I were in this sort of situation (and as I mentioned before, Im not), I would confer with my spouse and plan to not be offended. I would do everything in my power to overlook their offensive behavior, and to address it gently, privately, and lovingly with the “offender”, seeking reconcilliation. I would make every concession I could without turning over the reigns to the in law, so as to make them comfortable etc and to be a witness of the longsuffering and kindness of Christ. I mean to say, that the authority of the parent is severed by the unity of marriage, but the office of parent still deserves respect. I do not see these two verses as being conflicting. You can be respectful and not take their advice (or submit to their “authority”).

Would I do this perfectly? UHM NO… (i would love to say yes there, but we all know that would be a lie!) But alot can be done with our weakness in the lives of unbelievers. I would be as upfront and honest as I could be about my failures too, so that they could see how I am aware of my failings, and how I lean on Christ to succeed. I think that showing respect to even meddling parents is a very very good way to reach those lost meddlers to Christ.

Just my opinion, I’m sure there are many who will disagree.

Mrs. Meg Logan

My point is that, in the case of the parent that “has to be involved” or undercuts the spouse, it may be time to physically move the family further away, not be in contact with them as much, or not let them into your house– depending on what actions they take. That action may not look like respect, but it is placing something there that will allow for you to not have a chance to show disrespect.

I’m especially thinking in the cases where you have meddling parents. Am I to understand that you believe that we should just let the parents meddle, belittle and try to convince you that your spouse is wrong? My whole point was that there’s a line somewhere in there where “this is my family– I can respect your opinions, but I cannot tolerate your interventions.”

Mrs. Meg Logan

I think Jenna’s warning is especially important regarding what you tell your parents, (and what he tells his parents). So many time in-laws can’t love their son-in-law/daughter-in-law unconditionally as they love their own flesh and blood and they tend to keep track of offenses. I know my friend who’s now going through a divorce at one time told me to pray if she and her husband worked things out that her family could forgive him for all he’d done. She didn’t think he could be restored to their family…and they’re a “Christian” family.