At one point in my married life I had a job installing cable. Cable subcontractors work very long hours (70-90hrs per week, 6 day weeks). When I first heard about the position I did not consider it due to the amount of hours it would take me away from my family.

As time progressed it was made increasingly clear that the job I had was not making enough money for me to continue and allow Meg to stay home with our son. As a result I decided I should at least pray about the opportunity to install cable. I was very surprised when I felt like God said “Yes”.

For the next year-and-a-half I installed cable. God’s grace was in all of it and somehow my wife managed not to go insane with me gone all the time. I learned how to leverage the time I did have available, and made sure I spent all the time I could with my son when I was around. After a year-and-a-half things just seemed to start to grate. About that same time God provided an opportunity to leave cable and I took it.

One of the first thing I was struck with my first week of a “normal” job was how much time there actually is in a day. It was suddenly very obvious how much time I had wasted watching TV, or with other activities that didn’t really accomplish anything but somehow made my pre-cable life seem busy.

I think that if many father’s would just cut out television and limit their internet access they would suddenly also find how much more time there is even in their busy day, to spend with their family, serve the church, etc.

But there is a twin danger. Just as we can do too much, we can do too little, and excuse ourselves by saying that our families come first. Perhaps a good warning sign that this is happening is the realisation that we still have time for a round of golf, or surfing or whatever, when we are saying we don’t have time to do anything for the Church.

Then we get the situation I think Mary is talking about here – where it is the busiest people who are constantly asked to do things…because we know that these are the people who will say yes!

Deacons and Elders face the same stresses, it’s a huge job, but somebody’s got to do it. So what happens when no one steps up? Scary. That’s why all the parts of the body have to be functioning.

I’ve recently been asked to chair the Education committee. I don’t want to, primarily from selfish reasons. I see others in the church with fewer children, less responsibility (they don’t homeschool! :O) ) and wish I hadn’t been nominated. I’d rather organize VBS than chair the Education committee. I’ve been praying about it though, b/c if God wants me to do this, I’ll do it. And I can’t do it fighting it every step of the way. But I also won’t do it if my family will suffer. And this is a little bitty job compared to being a deacon.

If the people God wants in these positions of leadership won’t step forward, then what choice does the church have but to invite others who are willing? I agree though, that it doesn’t sit well if they don’t have their family in order as Biblically directed.

I’m sure your management of your family makes you well-qualified to fill all these responsibilities and now you are serving as a role model for others by stepping back.

I would like to see more understanding of this by our church leadership. Although the priority of family first is consistently preached, we have at least one deacon whose children are all unpleasant, completely out of control. Why is he even invited to be a deacon?

I’m so thankful.