MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

To Meet the Wife’s Needs/Wants

October 5th, 2006 Visited 12753 times, 1 so far today
This entry is part 5 of 9 in the series A Father's Responsibility

One of the most radical statements (in terms of what people believe the Bible says in regards to husbands and wives) that I think I could make about the responsibility of the father in the home is that he is supposed to be meeting the wife’s needs.

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:13

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. – 1 Corinthians 14:35

Physically, we are to be meeting her needs on every level. She has submitted to us in the leadership in the home, and she is trusting us to provide for her. This means that we must be willing to sacrifice our desires and wants at times so that she may have hers. That means that we need to seek her pleasure and happiness above our own. That is what she’s required to seek as well.

The passage that the first verse is taken from continues on to say that the wife’s body is not her own, neither the husband’s body his own. Guys, let’s be frank. I think far too often we like to use this verse to say that we deserve sex whenever the mood hits us (which is probably more often than it hits her!), but we fail to see the point of our bodies not being our own. Sure, we’re supposed to be physically intimate, but this passage could also be read to mean that we should be taking care of ourselves in a way that pleases her.

This could easily be taken to mean that we should make sure that we’re awake and willing to converse with her. This could mean that we should seek to dress, smell, and look a way that pleases her. It is, after all, what we use this passage to ask of her, right? I mean, we like to pick out flirty things for her to wear to please us (which she probably does) and yet do we do and wear things to please her? Our body is not our own, remember?

And then there’s the responsibility to meet our wife’s spiritual needs. If she’s supposed to come to us with questions that she’s not supposed to ask in church, we should certainly be in the Word so that we can have an answer! Not only that, but we, as the husband-leaders, should be looking at our family’s life and seeking to improve our spiritual walks. We should be leading the family in devotions. We should be looking for ways to apply scripture to our everyday conduct. We should be sharing with her the things that we learn from the Bible or questions that have come up.

I fear that we’re so concerned with ourselves and our rights in this area, men, that we are missing the blessing of being able to serve and love the wife God gave us. Oh, and if you think she loves, cares and does a lot for you now– how could she respond if you took your meeting of her needs/wants up a notch?

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  • Mrs. Meg Logan says on: October 5, 2006 at 8:50 am

     

    Very good posts MIn. Both this one and the one about Fathers being the leader. I have never really considered what the man’s role was in depth, because I am focused on MY role. So this was quite interesting. And I am quite pleased to say that my man is following God’s commands very well, I am so blessed! *smile*

    Mrs Meg Logan

  • MInTheGap says on: October 5, 2006 at 9:39 am

     

    And you did a very good job talking about why a woman should come home. Thanks for your support and hopefully more men will step up to the plate.

  • Leticia says on: October 5, 2006 at 5:02 pm

     

    I think this was a great post. But, in the “real” world men are not that wonderful.

    In our day and age, it seems that both husband and wives are working full-time jobs and the men expect to be catered to when they get home. The wife is expected to come home, exhausted from work, and begin cooking dinner, running the kids to games or practices, cleaning up the house, doing some laundry. While the man, thinking he is doing his part by providing income, does nothing.

    I wish every man would read the scriptures and realize that women also need to be nurtured and cared for.

  • MInTheGap says on: October 5, 2006 at 5:43 pm

     

    You’re right, Leticia. I think that men tend to try to get out of their God-given responsibility to care for their wife because they believe that it’s just her responsibility, when it’s not. He’s supposed to work on the marriage as well as she is. He’s supposed to put energy in it and seek to strengthen the bond. If you will, he’s supposed to be involved in the relationship discussions.

    God didn’t let the man out of being a partner in the relationship– He made the man the leader who is a servant. A servant/leader can’t do his job well if he’s not interacting with his partner.

  • Rebecca says on: October 5, 2006 at 7:22 pm

     

    Great post! And I can happily say that most of that had never crossed my mind.:)

  • Erika Mcadam says on: May 28, 2007 at 5:58 pm

     

    I believe this one applies “Unless each man prodiuses more than he receives, increases his output, there will be less for him than all the others”, doesn’t it?

  • MInTheGap says on: May 28, 2007 at 8:50 pm

     

    Erika, I’m not quite sure how your comment applies? Could you go a little further in what you have to say? I’m probably just not following your train of thought.

  • Iris says on: October 19, 2011 at 8:47 pm

     

    I like the post “To meet the Wife needs and wants”. Except, like Leticia mentioned in her comment, in today’s world the women are working full time jobs outside the home and expected to take care of work in the home. Meanwhile, the man comes from work and he wants to know is the food waiting for him or he wants the wifes attention or just rest. This is my reality and it is not always good. I would like to come home
    from work and find dinner already done, the laundry done and that my son’s got the help he needed with his homework. (and the dog walked too!)

    • MInTheGap says on: October 19, 2011 at 9:21 pm

       

      I’m mixed here, Iris. You’re right, if the man comes home from work and expects to be docile when the woman works as well, he’s foolish. However, I believe that Titus 2 is pretty clear that the woman’s role was to be a keeper of the home. So, my bias is that women should get out of the workplace and back to the home– where possible. When there are two people in a relationship, it’s often very possible to do this, but many choose not to do it because of the standard of living they want to keep.

      So yes, the Husband needs to be in tuned to his wife. The Father needs to provide more than a paycheck for his wife and children. He needs to be present, to be a part of their lives. But I also believe that the woman needs to get out of the workplace and help be the glue that holds the family together.

MInTheGap

Standing in the Gap in a Society that's Warring with God.

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